Cuddles VS Numpty (Happy Tree Friends VS Dumb Ways to Die) Blog

Stay Safe Around Trees.

 

Dash Fish

AlfieMations

Moofie

“Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily.”

-Napoleon Bonaparte

Cuddles, the adorable yellow rabbit from Happy Tree Friends.

Numpty, the clumsy blue bean from Dumb Ways to Die.

Death. Something that will come for all of us, sooner or later. But if you know it’s coming, why not make it a little bit humorous? These guys are used to kicking the bucket quite a bit, in very flamboyant ways. But quite frankly, we’re tired of it. Let’s put an end to their hilarity and see who can die once and for all!

Before We Begin...

For both of these two, we’ll be using practically everything they have available to them. For Cuddles that would be the entire show of Happy Tree Friends S1-4, shorts, video games, crossovers, and other things like DVD extras. For Numpty it would be any videos on the official DW2D channel, video games, crossovers, and other things like social media posts.

Also, just a disclaimer here for general cartoonish gore and whatnot. If you aren’t comfortable with that kind of thing, we recommend you stray away from this blog.

Now, let’s get to dyin’!

Background

Cuddles

“Resistance is Futile.”

  • Name: Cuddles
  • Stereotypical troublemaker (basically just Bart Simpson as a rabbit)
  • Is the canonical Easter Bunny in the HTF universe
  • Has the most deaths out of any HTF character
  • Has 12 occupations
  • Zodiac sign is Aries
  • Likes: Carrots, sports, Giggles (one-sided)
  • Dislikes: Crocodiles…

Have you ever heard the term don’t judge a book by its cover? Well… that is quite literally the expectation you should hold after seeing the brilliantly vibrant world of Happy Tree Friends, most of its inhabitants existing in peace and harmony within a place often referred to as Happy Tree Town. From the sweet critters like the pink chipmunk Giggles, the nerdy anteater Sniffles, to some more troublesome faces like the sugary squirrel Nutty, and the foolish moose Lumpy… Among all animals, almost none of them are as recognizable or main staying as a mascot as the mischievous, adventure fun loving yellow bunny, Cuddles. In which he engages in fun, wholesome activities usually outside and- Wait… Didn’t I say… don’t judge a book by its cover? These animals actually go through everlasting, bloody spectacles of torture in this unending batch of lively fun, to set up your expectations, all to slowly devolve into a gory slaughter-fest! Actually, it’s a lot more chill the later it goes on… or, they at least started to scream less. If most of them could already scream, that is!

Numpty

“Dumb ways to die… So many dumb ways to die…”

The world of Dumb Ways to Die is an interesting one. It all started when Melbourne, Australia’s train service company, Metro, wanted to try and promote railway safety through a lighthearted PSA… about death. The PSA was a song listing various dumb ways one can die, one of those methods being: setting fire to your hair. The first one listed in the song was none other than a blue man named Numpty. Well, not “man” per se, but more of a Bean. No, seriously! That’s what their actual species name is called. These dumb Beans may look all fine and happy at first, but they actually live a life of unending torture and pain. And it never even seems to stop! Any way you can think of: having your private parts being used as piranha bait, getting impaled through the eye by a javelin pole, alien parasites literally transmuting your entire body from the inside out!! These Beans have been through the GUTTER! Yet all of them still tend to keep a can-do attitude most of the time. And the same can be said for Numpty! No matter how much suffering he goes through, it never stops him from getting up in the morning and living his life. He takes care of his kid, competes in the Dumblympics with the rest of his Bean friends, and even studies the ways of Beanscouting. It’s like Boyscouting but y’know, for Beans (and assumingly more gender-inclusive). His wilderness experience came in handy one day when he got stranded in the middle of the woods with his friends and the new Bean on the block named Noob. Go figure. Noob wanted to prove himself to the rest of the crew, and survived deadly climates. From sub-zero temperatures to volcanic environments, Noob went through it all and couldn’t have done it without Numpty. And the rest of the Beans of course, but when it comes to surviving the night, Numpty’s your go-to Bean. Due to those survival tips, Noob was able to make his way back to Beanland, while Numpty and the rest of the Beans stayed back to develop the rest of the wilderness, dying hundreds and thousands of times in the process. A new day, a new death.

Experience & Skill

Cuddles

Cuddles is perhaps one of, if not the most adventurous out of the Happy Tree Friends, constantly getting into expansive adventures. Cuddles across the series has had occupations like being a firefighter, and soccer player. Cuddles has been on expansive adventures like out in the wildlife with dangerous animals and conditions, taking life out at sea to manage a way to survive on a frozen landscape, as well as competing in events more deadly than to be expected, participating in the Camp slingshot matches known as the Deadeye Derbies, retrieving back stolen bread buns from the thieving raccoon twins Lifty and Shifty, and has even been apart of the gruelingly violent and difficult live broadcast shooter games of the Crackpet Show. As you can see from his Collect-Em-All-Card, (which are debatable on whether they can be taken seriously, but don’t necessarily tell faulty facts about the characters) it states Cuddles has a master’s degree in karate, which probably means something… despite the fact we have literally never seen Cuddles fight or even throw a punch with anyone. He can also perform sick tricks on his skateboard if we wanna talk about agility.

Numpty

Numpty is a bit of an outdoorsman, and an accomplished Beanscout (again, like a boyscout, but a Bean). Not only does he give the player tips on certain skills in the wild, he himself has shown expertise on how to gather wood and make a fire. He’s booksmart too, reading up on subjects like archaeology. Somewhere along his Beanscouting journeys he also found out how to make explosives with only a few materials. Beyond this he’s pretty agile too, being able to jump on and perfectly balance atop birds as they descend downwards and leap several feet into the air. With his friends, Numpty partakes in ever expanding obstacle courses where he throughout learns to level up certain skills of his like Recovery Speed, Attack Speed, Run Speed, Push Strength, overall Agility and Fall Recovery.

Arsenal

Cuddles

Fork

Not used in any way for eating… but I bet you can’t guess how it ends!…

Skateboard

Cuddles most primary method of transportation because he’s just such a fucking loser cool kid he can’t help but also perform typical skating jumping tricks in the air like mf is Sportacus or something.

And in Run & Bun he has a skateboard and seemingly within the game he can just… endlessly jump?

Cardboard Costume

When a small group of merry critters had to make a Christmas play and song, the theming was apparent even on the characters as Cuddles with a thin Christmas Tree, though not so great for exiting buildings…

Can we also talk about how beautiful Toothy’s singing voice is? 

Catchers Mitt

Used to catch things all kids should learn to catch!… Active grenades.

Jack in The Box

A perfectly harmless toy with no death trap in it whatsoev- Oh damn…

Stick

Found… probably anywhere. This stick is used for the purposes any normal child uses it for….. prodding animals. It can also be sharpened at the end to barely poke a rhino.

Hot Branding Iron

I have no idea how these two got or even heated this thing up, but it’ll give you a nasty sear if held up to your skin making you wish you were still getting cigarette burns from your neglectful father…

Uh… It sure would be a shame if someone here has a historic reputation of being totally tolerant while partially lit on fire…

Trumpet

Either that is one loud ass trumpet, or Cuddles has some kind of supernaturally high pitched voice lol. This is the third time this dynamic between these two has been displayed. But may actually be pretty useful unironically.

Watering Can

I don’t know what its shown exactly for… but it’s a watering can likely needing water to be collected from a well because HTF is just like that with society lol.

Saw

He saw this in one of the supply boxes to Russell’s destroyed ship and used it as a way to carve a hole in the ice to be able to reach for fish underwater.

Cleats

Yes he somehow got mean, spiky football cleat versions of his bunny slippers. Now imagine if he could replicate that one Spongebob gag… it would definitely be in line for the series lol.

Daredevil Gear

One of the times HTF characters took safety precautions for anything… it didn’t matter since the circus assistant was too stupid to understand the meaning of basic gestures resulting in a kaboom of gunpowder that started the whole charade of chaos…

Mail Truck

Considering the episode that came out literally three segments after it, this feels oddly ironic…

Also, he travels to Lumpy’s house after he called in literally like 2 seconds to deliver him a scarecrow, maybe not a calculable speed feat but it’s still funny lol.

Surfboard

Being essentially the skateboard of the seas, he can’t help but try to aura farm while riding a sick wave, only to get absolutely ratio’d. (Yes we intentionally cut the gif off before you see what happens to him)

Vomit Bag Puppets

He’s got craftsmanship… I’ll give him that.

Hammer

Used for nailing his Lumpy propaganda to his wall.

Guitar

This guy not only sucks at guitar but also killed all three of his inevitable band co-workers trying to get his shit working.

String Telephone

A fairly ineffective communication device that can be chained with either a hot cup of coffee… a pepper shaker, and giant barrel, each leading to equally terrible results.

He is also able to both blow, and sneeze loudly enough into them to cause people’s eardrums to explode and even knock their brain out of them.

Baseball

For a simple game of… guess what? Until it’s thrown over a far distance behind a fence by the goat himself, Cro-Marmot, leading to one of the most torturous sequences in all of HTF.

Match

Somehow pulled out of his… pocket with fingers literally shredded to the bone quickly backfires after being used for light… that’s a strange recurring thing in this show.

Slingshot

Arguably one of the most iconic tools of combat in this series, it is used to pelt rocks at others and can also be different other variations which affect its power, reload time and zoom. (See Deadeye Derby Section).

Kart

A go-kart supposedly made by Cuddles, it can move quite fast on land… but can be upgraded to more. (See Deadeye Derby Section).

Fireworks

Fireworks that are for some reason shaped like candy… sure would suck if we had a character in HTF that eats anything that remotely looks like candy...

Egg Basket

Nothing of note besides a neat hint that Cuddles is the actual Easter Bunny in the HTF universe, and also Cuddles celebrates Easter on Christmas…

Spyglass

Used for spying on people to pelt snowballs at them.

Run and Bun Items

In this Jetpack Joyride inspired game a part of it as you collect buns across the map, which are the main source of currency within the game that allow you to unlock characters, maps and the Power-Ups within the game.

  • Atomic Buns - Blows up all visible obstacles (including objects and sentient characters) on the screen.
  • Bonus Buns - Makes buns bigger and worth more for a short time.
  • Buns of Steel - Makes you invulnerable for a limited time. Also when you collide into an enemy with this item used it causes the enemy to explode.
  • Turbo Buns - Gives you a burst of hyperspeed and invulnerability. Also when you collide into an enemy with this item used it causes the enemy to explode, the same thing as the Buns of Steel pretty much.
  • Magnetic Buns - Pull and collect all the buns on screen for a limited time.
  • C-C-C-C-Combo Buns - Combine Magnetic Buns and Bonus Buns into one Power-Ups.

Deadeye Derby Items

There is a lot of different equipment in the game that enhances your gameplay in different varieties. Including:

  • Slingshots
  • Basic - The basic slingshot you’re given at the beginning of the game. It can deal up to 35-to-45 damage with a pulling and reloading speed of 1.5 seconds. It has a max zoom range of 2.
  • Slingshot 1 - It’s two hammers combined together into a slingshot. It can deal up to 45-to-55 damage with a pulling speed of 1.5 seconds and a reloading speed of 2 seconds. It has a max zoom range of 2.
  • Slingshot 2 - A slingshot with some spikes on the bottom half. It can deal up to 55-to-65 damage with a pulling speed of 1.8 seconds and a reloading speed of 2 seconds. It has a max zoom range of 2.
  • Slingshot 3 - A broken arm somewhat resembling Lumpy’s arm with some bones attached together to work as a makeshift slingshot. It can deal up to 65-to-75 damage with a pulling speed of 2 seconds and a reloading speed of 2.5 seconds. It has a max zoom range of 2.
  • Slingshot 4 - Some inconspicuous glasses similar to the ones Sniffles wears, held together to work as a slingshot. It can deal up to 60-to-70 damage with a pulling speed of 1.5 seconds and a reloading speed of 2 seconds. It has a max zoom range of 2.
  • Slingshot 5 - It's a pair of maracas for a slingshot. It can deal up to 70-to-80 damage with a pulling speed of 1.8 seconds and a reloading speed of 2.5 seconds. It has a max zoom range of 1.5.
  • Slingshot 6 - Some knife blades used as a slingshot. It can deal up to 80-to-90 damage with a pulling speed of 2 seconds and a reloading speed of 2.5 seconds. It has a max zoom range of 2.
  • Slingshot 7 - A slingshot that seems very resemblant of The Cursed Idol. While it’s ambiguous if it actually causes bad luck, it deals the most damage out of any slingshot up to 90-to-100 with a pulling speed of 2 seconds and a reload time of 3 seconds. It has a max zoom range of 2.
  • Ammo
  • Fire - A rock lit on fire that deals more damage then the regular ammo when it hits the opponent.
  • Lightning - A rock infused with electricity… somehow, that stuns the enemy for several seconds once it hits an opponent.
  • Poison - A rock with green toxins on it that can poison enemies when it hits them causes their health to drain for several seconds.
  • Fire+ - A blue flamed upgraded version of the normal Fire Ammo that is much stronger.
  • Lightning+ - A blue crackling upgraded version of the normal Lightning Ammo that deals more damage and stuns enemies for a longer time then the normal one.
  • Poison+ - A venomous purple upgraded version of the normal Poison Ammo that once again… deals more damage then the original while also dealing a longer amount of poison damage on the enemy.
  • Kits
  • Small - A small bandage is given.
  • Medium - Two bandages are given.
  • Large - A health container is given.
  • Extra Large - An entire health case is given.
  • Lives
  •  5 - 10 Max
  • +5
  • +12
  • +28
  • +50
  • Karts
  • Camp Pokeneyeout - A general all around vehicle used for traveling on land.
  • Terror Trails - A more beefy vehicle that can efficiently travel on muddy terrains.
  • Rabid Rapids - A great use of traveling on water, going from normal looking rafts, to a full blow submarine!
  • Lost Mines - A high tech looking vehicle with blue fire rocket boosters that can travel on mine cart tracks Donkey Kong Country style.

The Crackpet Show Items

This was a crossover game that came out around the first time HTF had come back in years with another similarly innocent but gory series collaborating with these creatures called The Crackpets, a species that came into being after humanity went extinct and became huge TV celebrities for this one thing. It is essentially a live TV-style shooter game focused around gaining trophies by climbing the ranks and facing waves of enemies after another. During the games there are three main battle gimmicks that help you significantly during matches.

  • Weapons
  • Pew Gun - The most normal gun
  • Zap Gun - Has a chance to stun enemies when fired
  • Lob-o-Gun - Shoots bullets in an arc
  • Shotgun - Shoots a spread shot of 3 bullets
  • Rainbow Gun - Shoots three colourful bullets
  • Indecisive Gun - Shoots random bullet patterns
  • Melody Gun - Deals more damage the long the fire button is held
  • Random Gun - Shoots varying projectiles from all guns the user had found so far in the run
  • Lava Cannon - Shoots lava all over the floor
  • Snowball Thrower - Fires snowballs that deal damage and slow enemies down
  • Grenade Launcher - Throws exploding grenades
  • Line Gun - Shoots 5 bullets in a line
  • Crazy Shotgun - Fires 5 bullets at once in the targets general direction
  • Shockwave Generator - Generates a shockwave around you, damaging nearby enemies
  • Baseball Gun - A fairly standard weapon that I’m gonna take a wild guess… shoots baseballs!
  • Bowling Gun - Shoots slow moving Bowling Balls that deal great damage to the enemies.
  • Sniper Rifle - Long range and nice damage, but a slow reload
  • Grow-o-Ball - Shoots a ball that will grow over time and therefore deal more damage
  • Gerf Nun - Fires bullets that knock back enemies
  • Railgun - An instant hit with a high damage, but a slow reload
  • Mega Railgun - Fires heavy shots that penetrate through multiple enemies at once.
  • Lucky Charm - Powerful, but slows down your movement
  • Lazy Aim Gun - Fast but not accurate
  • Love Spreader - Shoots 12 bullets arranged in the shape of a heart
  • Mincer - Throws guts at the enemies
  • Rocket Launcher - Shoots rockets that deal additional area damage
  • Electric Beam - Deals more damage the longer you hold down the fire button
  • Line Gun - Shoots five bullets in a line
  • Golden Gun - It’s just a gun made of gold… (Minecraft moment) But can be sold for quite a fortune.
  • Crossbow - It’s arrows pierce the target (even if it doesn’t have any crosses)
  • Boomerang - Launches a boomerang that returns to you after it hits something
  • Rubberball - Shoots one of three bouncing projectiles that will keep bouncing until it stops or it touches you
  • Mark Gun - Mark an enemy’s spot and make them more vulnerable
  • Glue Gun - Shoots two bullets that immobilise opponents for some time
  • Egg Launcher - Throws exploding eggs, but some of them may have a chance to hatch enemies.
  • Ball Launcher - This weapon launches balls at high speeds that push away anyone they hit
  • Chained Balls - Shoots two balls connected to a chain. The chain slices through enemies
  • Random Gun - Shoot the projectiles of any other gun unlocked
  • Doom Gun - Fires a powerful, explosive, yet slow projectile that shocks enemies around it
  • Vortex Gun - Creates a black hole that pulls enemies in
  • Turrets Launcher - Fires small deployable turrets
  • Rainbow Shotgun - Shoots five colourful bullets at a time
  • Fist Pump - Shoots a literal rocket fist at enemies and pushes them away

  • Special Items
  • Anvil Drop - Drop an anvil on enemies
  • Turret - Deploys a temporary turret to fight alongside you by shooting enemies even from afar from its set position
  • Bandages - Heals half a heart of your HP
  • Taunt - Provokes enemies to attack you for a short time. Additionally, grants invulnerability during this period
  • Taunt Totem - A totem that pisses off enemies so much they stop paying attention to anything else
  • Force Field - Temporarily shields the player from projectiles
  • Damage Booster Aura - Creates an aura that increases damage dealt by you and every teammate inside the aura
  • Explosive Mine - Just an antipersonnel mine.
  • Ice Mine - Gives enemies who step on it the cold shoulder
  • Electric Mine - Stuns enemies who step on it
  • Stinky Mine - Seemingly a more powerful version of the Explosive Mine
  • Tornado - Turns you into an unstoppable tornado that deals damage by touching enemies
  • Stun Explosion - Stuns all enemies in the room
  • Call of Zeus - Strikes an enemy and stuns them. The effect jumps to nearby enemies
  • Heal-o-Tron 5000 - Drop it on the ground and use it to heal 1 health, which you can your teammates can use
  • Fart - Allows you to release an area-of-effect green cloud of gas, intoxicating and stunning enemies who step into the deadly cloud
  • TNT - Radio-controlled TNT. First, put it on the ground, and then detonate it
  • Bomb - Drops a nuke that damages all enemies in the room
  • Bomberman - (Yes inspired by the video game character) Drop the bomb, wait, and boom
  • EXPLOSION - Upon activation, it triggers an immediate area-of-effect explosion that deals heavy damage to all nearby enemies
  • Mirror - Temporarily reflects enemy projectiles
  • Stimpack - Greatly strengthens your attacks, but at the cost of 1 health.
  • Terminator - Makes you immortal and speeds up all your attacks. But you can’t move :P
  • Auto Revive - A non-manually activated item that revives the user with full health upon death. These lives can easily bring the characters back from stuff like holes punched into them, being severed in half…  and potentially bringing their souls back into their bodies?…
  • Robot - Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail it, upgrade it…
  • Magic Trick - A wave that quickly extends to the size of the room and destroys all enemy bullets
  • Invisibility - Puts a paper bag on your head that somehow makes you completely invisible to enemies.
  • Mutation Potion - Gives 5 random perks for a certain amount of time
  • Chili Pepper - Generates a lava line that damages enemies
  • Critical Master - Temporarily makes all shots critical hits
  • Vampire - Makes the next several enemy bullets heal you
  • Venom - Fires five toxic bullets that apply poison on impact
  • MedKit - Restores 1 health to the players
  • Uber MedKit - restores the players to full HP.
  • Blind Shooting - Shoots bullets in eight directions simultaneously
  • Devil’s Arsonist - Creates a special symbol that ignites your enemies
  • Tesla Turret - Places a turret that deals instant shock damage to every enemy near it
  • Manifesto - Summons members of the audience to fight on your side

  • Perks
  • Area Damage - Bullets deal area damage
  • Knockback - Adds a knockback effect to every attack
  • Extra Shot - Adds an extra bullet when attacking
  • Stress Factor - After receiving damage… No I’m not kidding, you literally shit on the ground and enemies who walk in it get hurt
  • Rapid Fire - Increases your attack speed
  • Rapid Fire Aura - The same as before but surrounds you in an aura that increases you and your teammates attack speed who are within it
  • Chain Attack - Projectiles bounce between nearby enemies
  • Haste - Gives you a solid adrenaline kick that makes you run faster
  • Bullet Haste - Makes your bullets fly faster
  • Frenzy - Increases your shot frequency when your health is low
  • Eagle Eye - Increases your shooting range
  • Stun - Gives a chance that an enemy will be stunned after taking damage
  • Damage Boost - Increases the damage you deal
  • Damage Boost Aura - An aura that increases the players attack speed of the user and nearby teammates
  • Steel Shoes - Makes the user immune to traps like spikes
  • Armored - Charges up a shield at the beginning of each stage
  • Heal Boost - Makes healing more effective
  • Big Bullets - Does what it says on the tin lol
  • Lava Bullets - Your projectiles leave lava on the ground that deals damage to enemies who touch it
  • Spike Skin - Whenever you touch an enemy to you damage them, but this doesn’t protect you from contact damage
  • Strength - Increases your maximum health
  • Stone Skin - Gives you a chance to resist damage
  • Stone Skin Aura - The same as the original but generates an aura that can also give you and your teammates a chance to resist damage
  • Poison - Applies poison that causes a damaged enemy to die a slow death
  • Poison Area - Your projectiles leave poison in the ground that deals damage over time to enemies who touch it
  • Poison Skin - Whenever you touch and enemy, you poison them, though this doesn’t protect you from taking contact damage
  • Meat Boys - Grants a small probability that an enemy will reanimate as a zombie-style ally
  • Maniac - Increases your damage when your health is low
  • Lifesteal - Has a chance to let you heal after you kill an enemy
  • Bouncy Bullets - Makes projectiles bounce off walls
  • Split Bullets - Creates extra bullets with reduced damage every time a bullet explodes
  • Homing Bullets - Your bullets try to follow your target
  • Close Combat - Makes any close-range shot a critical hit
  • More Carnage! - Increases the chance of a critical hit
  • Healing Combo - When healing, grants a chance that an additional healing heart may drop
  • Trophies Collector - You get an additional trophy after killing the boss (YIPPEE-)
  • Dash Attack - While dashing, you shoot additional bullets to the sides (YO IS THAT YOU DASH?! - AlfieMations) (No, that’s my cousin, Attack. - Dash Fish)
  • Critical Power - Increases the damage multiplier for a critical hit
  • Piercing - A bullet will not stop until it reaches its max distance or hits a wall, allowing it to go through multiple enemies at a time
  • Bullseye - Increases critical hit chance
  • Short Circuit - Shocks enemies near the target
  • Lucky - Grants a chance to use a special item without consuming a charge
  • Fire Sweat - When dashing, the user leaves behind a fiery area that deals damage to enemies
  • Adrenaline Shot - Boosts your damage, shot frequency and walking speed for a brief time upon entering each stage

Numpty

Candle

He uses this to keep his flame alight! Kinda funny that the fire look was a detriment to him at first but now he’s just kinda rocking with it. Respect.

Pinwheels

Happy Fourth of July! Even though DW2D is Australian...

Barbeque and Pitchfork

For grilling at the beach, Numpty fancies himself barbequed crab.

Botch Plushie

Numpty has merch of his friend Botch. This is also a backpack in Fortnite!

Paint

Numpty comes across some paint and sticks his feet inside, using it to climb up walls. Like Spider-Man! Just less cool.

Skis

Typical skis you’d see any winter resort use. He uses a different pair of skis in DW2D3 as well.

Sled

Same goes for this sled, too. He survived crashing it.

Hammer

Used this to open up a very large door that was in the way. Did it open up because Numpty hit it so hard or...?

Lighter

A lighter that emits a flame so strong it burns an entire ice wall down! (why didn’t bro just use the flames on his head, what?) Maybe that’s hyping up a lighter too much but Numpty’s been seen to use other kinds of lighters, too.

Dragon Mask

This is a dragon mask also equipped by Dimwit that allows the user to spew flames from their face. Numpty can likely also do this with his mask.

Fireworks

Numpty has loads of fireworks which can be added onto. He manufactured one of them to explode into the shape of one of his pals Dimwit.

DumbPhone 20

The Beans of Dumbville all have phones to scroll through InstaDumb.

Wrapper Collection

Numpty has a big collection of wrappers for some strange reason, but he was sweet enough to part with them.

Boxing Gloves

Don’t mess with him! He seems angry! Legitimately this is like the only time we ever see Numpty angry, it feels weird.

Pharaoh's Tomb

Numpty uses a pharaoh’s tomb to slide down sand at a fast pace. It does look a bit uncanny though.

Racecar

Yup, Numpty likes racecar driving in his spare time, and even has an entire team to help him with pitstops. Of course they broke the car and killed everyone though.

Camper Van

Numpty traveled in his camper van that eventually broke down and started the plot of Dumb Ways to Survive. It’s built upon throughout the game and eventually turns into a flying blimp!

Aeroplane

Apparently he knows how to fly an aeroplane. Atleast enough to dodge obstacles in the way, though if he ever does crash he’ll accidentally decapitate himself.

Boat

This broken down boat allows Numpty to traverse the ocean, generally allowing a few hits in before succumbing to whatever hit it then.

Pogostick

Allows great maneuverability for Numpty along with being able to not only destroy enemy chests with a single bounce but also thick wooden floors.

Cleaver

Used for chopping up fruits and vegetables at an incredibly fast rate. Just don’t cut any of the machinery.

Space Suit

Numpty can traverse space with his own space suit. Though he can only last so long without his helmet, he can still attempt to grab it back even if he does lose it.

Jetpack

This jetpack of his allows Numpty to fly in a multitude of directions and is quite durable. Allowing it to be strung about for a couple of hits though before it blows up.

Costumes

Devil Horns

This gives Numpty some stylish devil horns that are immune to his so to speak, lack of hair.

Beard

This gives Numpty a beard. I don’t think it suits him all that well but hey!

Moustache

This gives Numpty a much more stylish moustache. This is better than the beard.

Viking Helm

This gives Numpty a viking helmet. Wearing this allows him the ability to go faster.

Fireplace

This gives Numpty a sick fireplace-like top hat for him to wear. As long as it is worn, it allows him to have an increased flying skill.

Falcon Mask

This gives Numpty a mask helmet in the style of a falcon, complimenting his flames nicely. Wearing this allows him to obtain more tokens with a +25% token multiplier.

Powers & Abilities

Cuddles

Immortality

If there is anything these forest critters are known for doing… it’s being resilient for the inevitability of death, surviving things that by normal standards, we as humans could never even dream to tolerate let alone survive. While it is usually vague what actually happens when a character dies (since the creators have sort of made it clear that there’s no actual explanation behind the characters coming back, and there isn’t really an instance in the main series of the character coming back to life in the same episode), there have been instances where we’ve seen HTF characters be brought back to life… though mostly through outside sources. It is worth noting though that there are at least two instances (though the first one was kinda circumstantial) of HTF characters seemingly raising up as the undead once they die. Some of the things Cuddles and other Tree Friends have survived Include:

And most of the time the pain is barely an inconvenience to these guys.

They can even move their bodies even when their muscles have been burned off.

Fourth Wall Awareness

HTF has a lot of Meta moments, from moments stemming to just giving a glance to the audience (Handy is definitely the best example of this), to even being capable of interacting with the iris out closing, and on at two separate occasions, the characters have been made aware of and can hear information given to them through the narrator. 

Non-Physical Interaction

Characters in HTF can interact with Mime’s pantomimed objects, which as seen in the gif above, is shown physically hurting Petunia, and Mime also shows he can make the sounds of the things he mimes. If that wasn’t enough, Petunia was able to block a kiss Disco Bear blew to her with a food tray literally shattering like glass.

Enhanced Senses

HTF characters have shown instances of sight quite frankly absurd for our standards. Except Mole… RIP.

Money Manipulation

In Deadeye Derby, each character has their own individual gimmick that affects their gameplay slightly. Cuddles just makes it so that you get slightly more money then you normally would after winning a battle.

Immersion

Here we see characters like Cub are able to just seemingly… enter into TVs. This isn’t really given much of an explanation, but visually it does make sense that he did somehow jump into the TV given we see his hat on the floor after he had just got done killing 3 people (including his own father rip), and there’s no reason to say this shouldn’t apply to the other characters.

Numpty

Immortality

DW2D characters have a very resilient sense of survivability. In that, they’re able to endure lethal blows to the body that would kill a normal human being instantly. While it may look like initial hits kill these guys immediately, they are shown to survive afterwards just fine like in the original song. Characters can revive themselves instantly with their blood still on the floor as well with increasing that speed they come back at. We even see some rise up from their graves sometimes, like literally some Beans can just turn into zombies. Some of the things Numpty and other Beans can survive:

Fourth Wall Awareness

This power has been showcased by every Bean, in the first video! They’re all singing to you, the viewer, telling you how to never die in various dumb ways. Some Beans have even shown the ability to break through the computer screen, affect the world outside them from cards, and straight up leave their own medium! Though most of that likely isn’t combat applicable.

Non-Physical Interaction

Noob, a Bean just like any other, can interact with beings like the Ghost King just fine. Since he didn’t need anything special to do this, Numpty should also be the same. Noob could even beat up the Ghost King so hard he was able to steal his soul (See Before the Verdicts).

Flight

In Dumbville, Numpty can be seen flying around at high speeds with other Beans.

Fire Manipulation

It looks like due to his exposure to fire so much, Numpty can somehow summon it to harm… himself. These flames are so hot that they don’t fizzle out when it’s raining outside, if they're submerged in water, or even if Numpty’s in space. He can also form a flame shield around himself to negate all fire damage.

Enhanced Senses

Numpty was able to sense an oasis nearby in Careless Canyon, simply by the smell of coconut from the south.

Coin Manipulation

Numpty, like almost all other Beans, has the ability to gain and attract coins to himself.

You’re On Fire!

Numpty’s character ability gives the player more time to complete minigames where you need to outlast the timer. It’s unknown how this would apply to combative scenarios and likely only applies to the player themselves… but it’s at least worth mentioning since Numpty technically makes this occur.

Set Fire to Everything

This is Numpty’s ability in the DW2D card game Sudden Death. Here his card cancels all future actions that are going to be made that turn, and makes everyone draw two cards. Basically, this is just a form of temporary power / arsenal nullification. Since other Beans actually gain their ability or piece of equipment from the card (like actual mind control or a magnet), this would be fair to give to Numpty. Once used, this card has to be withdrawn and can’t be used again in the same turn.

Forms

Cuddles

None notable.

Numpty

Alien

In one minigame, Numpty turns into… this. With it he can survive in space without a helmet on and also endure seemingly deadly bites from alien bugs. That’s about it. It’s unknown how he accesses this form but it sure does exist. Let’s move on, this is disturbing.

Support

Cuddles

Mouse

The episode that showed most of the characters' pets shows Cuddles with a yellow mouse (coincidence?). It has the totally passive ability to scare Elephants lol.

Numpty

Birds

For some reason, birds just seem to like Numpty, and help him out when he’s in need of traveling. Also Numpty is either really lightweight or these birds are just very strong for bird standards.

Resistances

Cuddles

  • Extreme Temperatures -
  • Fire/Heat - HTF characters have consistently endured being lit on fire for extended periods of time, Lifty technically survived being completely submerged in lava for a brief period, Flippy, Sniffles and Handy survived being near the sun for several seconds, and Lumpy only received burnt fur and melted eyeballs from being next to his spotlight which could completely vaporise other characters.
  • Ice/Cold - Has varying degrees of tolerances to the cold, usually withstanding being in extremely cold environments filled with snow and ice, and characters can survive being in the presence of Cro-Marmot, whose presence was able to freeze water, and even fire which basically is the equivalent of absolute zero.

Numpty

Feats

Cuddles

Overall

Power

Durability

Speed

Numpty

Overall

  • Set fire to his hair
  • Had a birthday party with all his friends
  • Competed in the Dumblympics and many other events
  • Became a superhero, a Beanscout, and a father
  • Helped Noob find his way back to Beanland
  • Is a gay icon

Power

Durability

Speed

a blue cartoon character with orange hair and the website dumbuystodie.com underneath it

Scaling

Cuddles

Other Tree Friends

Of course Cuddles would be comparable to all his friends, since they’re shown to be on-par with one another throughout the show.

  • Giggles 
  • Toothy
  • Petunia
  • Handy
  • Nutty
  • Sniffles
  • Pop and Cub
  • Flaky
  • The Mole
  • Disco Bear
  • Russell
  • Was able to drag a Blue Marlin with his teeth (212.0951 kilojoules)
  • Lifty and Shifty
  • Mime
  • Cro-Marmot
  • Misc

Lumpy

Same reason for Lumpy here, he just deserves his own section due to his large laundry list of growing feats.

Flippy/Fliqpy

Flippy/Fliqpy is also comparable, but once again, just has one too many feats so he also deserves his own section.

  • Launch Cuddles’s brain out of his skull
  • Launch Lumpy’s upper torso
  • Launch Giggle’s eyes
  • Launch Petunia's skull out of her head

Splendid

Any of the Tree Friends scaling to Splendid is potentially a bit questionable, as he’s shown to be massively stronger than all of them. Though you could argue Cuddles at most downscaling from Splendid. (See Before the Verdicts)

  • ...But in doing so, also traveled back in time (Immeasurable) (See Before the Verdicts)

Numpty

Other Beans

Keeping up with his fellow Beans in sports and other events means Numpty would be comparable to basically all of them.

  • Stupa
  • Doofus
  • Ninny
  • Madcap
  • Bozo
  • Botch
  • Klaus
  • Clod
  • Stupe
  • Mishap
  • Dumbell
  • Dimwit
  • Loopy
  • Noob
  • Doomed
  • Dippy
  • Stumble
  • Zany
  • Misc

The Dumb Team

You know, the Dumb Team. They’re like, the marketing team of Dumb Ways to Die personified into Beans… or something. It’s never elaborated on.

  • Dean

Weaknesses

Cuddles

Cuddles befitting of his name can be just a little soft on the outside, both literally and figuratively, given that he can quite naive, either not being aware of certain incoming danger that leads to his pain or even worse, and can be easy to trick into certain situations that can inevitably lead to his death.

Oh right, he also dies a whole lot.

Numpty

Numpty, apt to his namesake, is kind of a dummy sometimes. For one, he literally set fire to his hair. Like that’s almost as dumb as poking a stick at a grizzly bear, or eating medicine that’s out of date, or even… using your private parts as, oh I dunno, piranha bait? Anyways, Numpty is a pretty booksmart guy from what we’ve seen, but definitely experiments a little too freely with things he isn’t used to. Take for example times he’s exploded fireworks right into his face like… multiple times, or literally forgot he had food cooking while he was RIGHT NEXT TO IT! 

There’s also the obvious fact that he dies a lot too, but that’s kind of obvious now, isn’t it?

Before the Verdicts

Cuddles

HTF Feats

We’re just gonna get this section started off by saying: No, we’re not going by the assumption of HTF (and DW2D for that matter) are extremely fodder in terms of stats because of the stigma that they die to the most common of things, that’s just kinda a rule of comedy (or technically awareness in DW2D’s case) in their series rather than to actually display how weak they are. Besides, this argument already goes both ways, so it would be an equal matter regardless.

So let’s get to decoding those HTF feats!

That truck was my favourite character…

In the second segment of the first episode of the TV series From Hero to Eternity, in order to stop one half of a giant snowball, Splendid’s solution to stop it is to grab a massive truck that Lumpy is driving, throw it in the place the snow ball is gonna land, and heat up the truck with his heat vision to cause a MASSIVE explosion that can be seen from space (while also right next to a small town lol) just to create a little fire to melt the snow… then it gets crazier from there but we don’t have time. So you’d think this is just a feat Splendid performs and as such nobody really scales to it right?… Wrong.

You see… Lumpy was literally crushed under the truck when this explosion happened and when he got caught in the middle of it, we see him get launched into space with his bottom half completely blown off and screaming. Meaning the explosion itself isn’t actually the thing that killed him, most likely either being bled out, or being launched into space, and even if you don’t wanna go by that… Splendid did this right next to a small town, where several of the other characters were at, and literally no one was harmed from the explosion at all somehow, so you could likely calculate using surface area to measure how much the HTF characters would downscale this example here, and it got to around Island Level so still impressive as shit lol.

Ho Ho- HOLY SHIT!

In episode 50 during Christmas, Lumpy, jealous of his neighbours building up utterly spectacle Christmas lights over their house, decides to one-up them in the most extreme way possible, by strapping a bunch of lights and electrical-based equipment together onto his home which causes a practically worldwide shining of light to spread from it, causing even those who are blind to be dazzled by it, before causing people around it to… I don’t know, light on fire! Explode! Vaporize into a stain of ashes?!… And if you thought that was crazy… Lumpy’s Christmas lights then shoot a beam of light at the moon and blow it up. Jesus Christ dude… you didn’t have to go far on his Birthday no less. And what’s more baffling is that Lumpy survives! Well… with completely burnt fur and melted eyeballs… but he shows no visible pain to it, and the Mole is also basically unharmed, just with a candlelit thumb.

So… the strange question is wondering how they scale to this. Obviously we’re not gonna scale Lumpy to the moon detonation itself because nobody actually interacts with the beam and give how far away Lumpy would likely be, it’d be impossible to scale through that way… but surface area can again be applied to this feat, allowing it to just barely get into the Multi-Continent Level range. Now, some people could argue that because the two people who we see survive it are conveniently ones without the ability to see that the application to scaling is different because this light is different. Well, not when we literally see characters trying to shield their eyes from the light, only to end up getting completely destroyed anyways. We doubt it’d make sense to apply it in that way anyway. So overall this is a fine durability feat to scale most of the characters to, since there’s reasonably just as much (if not more) going in favour of it then against it.

Now those were all impressive, but there’s some people who have at least disagreed with using this as consistent since they seem a little higher than what was considered the pay grade for HTF before which was around Town - Island, but we think they’re pretty fine now… which is where we discuss…

The Perfect Cell Annihilator

Perhaps the dumbest thing we will talk about in this blog?

So uh, in a commercial promoting the three volumes of the HTF DVD, they did like these tense action-like cinematics putting Lumpy in a dangerous situation as a result of the statement, but this is the most impressive one. As the Narrator states this meteor is “12 million miles wide”, which is 135 times larger than Jupiter (LMAO!) And when calculating it, when you take into consideration its size and how far away it was from the Earth, you can calculate this explosion has enough force to destroy the entire Solar System thousands of times over. But uh… there is a problem with this… Lumpy just blatantly doesn’t survive. We see him reduced to a skeleton from the heat of the explosion, and his skeleton’s barely even intact from its shockwave in the end… plus, even if wanted to say Lumpy’s skeleton not being completely destroyed means he scales to the explosion even a little (which is bullshit but whatever) applying surface area to this feat would only get it around Multi-Continental again, not that much of an upgrade.

So overall this feat is bad and shouldn’t be used unironically but man is it funny lol. Like this is more of a feat for the Earth in HTF rather than Lumpy if you think about it.

I am the one who originally found this feat btw. - John C

Not a very bright idea

In the second part of the episode “Happy Trails” when Sniffles, Lumpy, Handy and Flippy are stuck in an island, they use the remaining scraps of a school bus to form a rocket ship that travels into space, during the time Lumpy got thrown out as the remaining 3 friends ended up accidentally going too far they end up exiting earth's atmosphere, flying past several planets, and crashing into the sun, exploding to death. (which also brings into question how far they’re planet actually is aware from the sun but that isn’t important) all of this happens relatively quickly so you might be wondering why they don’t scale?

Simply put, Sniffles couldn’t control this rocket at all, they were flying in a perfectly straight line, everyone was pushed by the G-Force of traveling so fast, and they couldn’t react to the sun in time to move away from it.

So yeah more simple to talk about then we thought, but yeah it doesn’t scale.

A cycle unlike no tomorrow

So… there’s this one kind weird argument to get HTF to massively faster than light speeds, it comes from the episode “Hear Today, Gone Tomorrow" where Lumpy (who was made depth earlier in the episode from a string telephone related accident) takes a carrot birthday cake to Cuddles house on his bicycle, only to be chased by Flippy in a fucking helicopter… but if you look closely at the background you can see that as they're moving, the night sky of stars seemingly moves with them at an incredibly fast rate, which can get to really high speeds taking into account the size of stars and saying how far they must be moving per frame to dictate speed.

This is confusing but ultimately leads in a slight disagreement since for one, it can easily be interpreted as more of a visual effect to fit with the scene since neither of them are exactly in outer space when they do this, they are on Earth which either implies they are actually zooming across the Earth so fast it looks like their in the same spot while moving, or the with is so bad that it looks like they’re moving so fast that the stars can be seen moving like that… It’s just confusing! (That’s kind of an unfortunate trend here lol) But that’s why we think it’s at best questionable for it to really be included here even as a high end.

Splendid Scaling?

Well it’d come to this eventually… Let's talk about him. Basically for a point of context, Splendid is a blue flying squirrel who rarely consistently appears in the series, but when he does, he’s usually portrayed as the sometimes apathetic but still willing to help kind of superhero archetype. And as such he has superpowers like flight, super strength, laser vision, super breath… where have I heard those before? And as a result he is portrayed as incredibly strong. Generally within an episode, an exact same sequence he will often be seen tanking something that would’ve killed a regular HTF character in that same instance, and in general he’s been shown casually overpowering the other characters.

So do they have a way to scale to him? Well… no… but also yes. (It’s complicated)

Basically what we’re trying to say here is we are not actually trying to scale their attack potency to Splendid as they never really physically contend with him, unless you use other material like Deadeye Derby where characters can harm and kill him, but that’s very much a one-off type of deal that wouldn’t overwrite the consistency of it in the series. Aside from that you could say that there are instances of characters surviving attacks from Splendid, but those are directly without the intention to kill and have been inconsistent in episodes as well… 

The same isn’t exactly as true for speed however. Now this one seems to be in a similar boat because Splendid is generally shown being incredibly fast while flying due to super speed, and is usually faster than the other characters while flying… but that’s not all it takes to compare speed to one another. While Splendid has a lot of feats that get at bare minimum Relativistic, the feat of him flying around the earth fast enough to spiral around it multiple times per second is just him starting to build up speed, meaning you can argue that Splendid at a causal level can trace roughly over 20 times the speed of light… so how do the HTF characters scale? Well, contrary to popular belief, there actually are instances of characters in HTF either reacting to him flying away/turning in tandem with him flying, being snuck up on despite having extraordinarily super hearing, and just outright be blitzed by characters he’s flying straight towards with no intention of going slow. So like, maybe you can argue it’s debatable just because of how the scale of Splendid is clearly much different then every other character, but since it’s also generally consistent with the other characters speeds, already we’d say this comparison is relatively fine. So overall Splendid scaling doesn’t really work for Attack Potency, but can work for Speed. Though speaking of which… Here's where we discuss the best part of all.

Immeasurably bashing my head into the wall

So uh… you know how we said Splendid could circle the earth countless times in fractions of a second? Well, turns he was doing that to build up specifically to go so fast that he literally went back in time. All to make sure that he didn’t burn the bread that he was baking in the oven… Which uh, yeah there’s no real way about it, that’s Immeasurable speed, and the fallacy that him turning back the Earth is what caused time to rewind is both a typical fictional interpretation, and also doesn’t make sense when Splendid is clearly aware of his time travel to go back to check his bread, while other characters were back to the place that they were. So, do the other characters scale? Honestly debatable, but we lean no right now.

Mainly because you can’t really use the feats of characters reacting to Splendid flying at them to be able to scale to that, since those are clearly not examples of Splendid going at his fastest…Really the best argument you can make in favour of this feat is using the instance where Shifty was able to sneak up on Splendid to pull down the pants of his hazmat suit. When we see Splendid traveling back in time, we literally see him take the time to slow down and land back in his house to check on his bread. How would you say you could slow down and react to things when you're moving incalculably fast? That would literally be impossible… But Splendid can do it! So you can definitely argue this speed would scale to Splendid’s reactions anyway, and the fact he could react to Shifty pulling his pants down, despite also having incredible super hearing is something worth nothing. Although… the thing with this is that this is the only real instance of a character moving and evading faster around Splendid then he could react, and even then… just on principle it feels questionable whether to say this should scale to high ends when it comes to speed for the HTF speed given it was just a minor inconvenience. The other instances wouldn’t apply to, since those are examples of them reacting to Splendid flying at them or in tandem with them at his casual speed which would only really scale to the FTL+ feat.

So overall not only is it a pretty high bar to say this feat applies in terms of consistency, but it also has some flaws in terms of context that make it questionable to apply to anyone other than Splendid potentially.

Numpty

DW2D Feats

What was stated for the HTF Feats section can also be repeated here. Their nature of dying a lot is simply for awareness and comedic effect, and not really to showcase how weak they are. Plus, this is a point that can be shared between the both of them. Now, let’s dissect some DW2D feats.

Numpty Choso’s into the Earth

A video posted by the DW2D social media features Numpty doing the “woke up in a new bugatti” trend so fast that he rolls into another planet and has it explode. Although there are a couple problems with using this. The footage of the planet exploding is literally just from when the Death Star blew up Alderaan (and we literally used the calculation for that as well). It’s pretty easily just comedic editing done by the DW2D team IRL and is weird to consider literal Star Wars footage in tandem with regular DW2D feats. Like sure Numpty did explode a planet here but how do we even reliably calc this without dipping into other verses? Even in the video itself it shows that Numpty is just following the Death Star’s laser so… yeah. Let’s move on.

Numpty’s HOW FAST??

Hey, he found the Deltarune piano! Oh yeah, this feat. Basically, Numpty can swim from Mars to a black hole in a matter of seconds. We know that this is an actual black hole because 1. It’s in space, and 2. Is actually sucking things around it into its pull. Even if you don’t believe it’s a real black hole and is just floating around in space for some reason, the speeds at which Numpty’s swimming through space would 100% reach a similar speed to what the original calculation is. This is because the minigame starts Numpty around Earth, then eventually he gets near Saturn. Reaching Saturn in a short timespan like that would also warrant MFTL+ speeds, so this black hole feat is consistent.

I mean really, what DID that red button do?

During the original Dumb Ways to Die song, we see Ninny press the red button, then a very large explosion follows said press of the red button. The question here is, can we realistically scale Numpty to the level of damage this explosion likely caused? And did Ninny actually survive this? Well, think about the song itself. The formula is that the Bean causes damage to themselves, then is shown dancing with the others with the injuries they suffered. But when this happens to Ninny, they literally look the exact same during the next part. And, we know Ninny is taking the blunt force of this explosion, since the song is “Dumb Ways to Die” of course implying everything that happens to a Bean in the video would very much kill a normal human. And every other Bean is shown taking damage from their mistakes so… of course Ninny would, too. A counterargument to this could be that Ninny just respawned or something like they do in the games, but that seems unlikely when, again, this wouldn’t apply to any other Bean but Ninny.

At the same time though, the Beans of course have been killed by far less, so it makes sense to not really follow this logic. It’s just that signs of this feat being valid and scalable heavily point towards yes.

Mishap’s Space Mishap

In Dumb Ways to Die 2, one of the minigames involves an alien Mishap flying on his rocket to Saturn. You have to connect the stars together so he goes along his path to where he presumably tries to land on Saturn; instead he ends up blowing it up. This is labeled as a success for the minigame where you continue on from. We don’t see him survive the blast nor do we see him die, and if you lose a minigame your bean dies on the screen (albeit from a different cause rather than from the minigames). And the loss state for this minigame actually shows him get visibly killed by some other aliens in space.

So given the nature of the series, we generally agreed that Mishap survived it provided with the other high end DW2D feats. However, it’s also reasonable to assume the opposite. Though the speed should be fine to take as literal either way, as the path Mishap takes is winding and not a fixed position, meaning he’s reacting to the speeds the rocket is going at.

That One Laser

Then there’s this feat, if you can even call it a feat to begin with. Basically, when failing one of the minigames the animation that plays after is a laser splitting the Earth entirely in half. Generally there’s no way for anyone to scale to this in terms of power or speed since no one is seen tanking or dodging the laser, and it’s not even done physically like the planet busting feat talked about right above this one. It’s so unreliable we didn’t even bother calculating it.

Numpty Has Soul Manipulation?

So, this was something funny to find out during research. In Dumb Ways to Survive, the player character Noob (without any special equipment) can interact with non-physical characters like Ghost Knights and Ghost Lions, of course including the Ghost King. The thing about this though, when fully defeating the Ghost King, he drops his soul as an item… meaning that whenever Numpty defeats a ghost, he would also get their soul. Right? So basically, yes, the Ghost King does drop his soul once defeated. However, that doesn’t happen whenever Noob beats up any other ghostly creatures. All he gets is… ghost meat.

We’re never given any elaboration on the Ghost King’s lore other than he’s a ghost and apparently a former king too, so we can’t really speculate as to why it’s only the Ghost King’s soul that’s dropped. He’s probably just special because of some unknown reason, maybe he had unfinished business or some other paranormal cause, but there’s not really enough evidence to say that Noob (and by extension, Numpty) can steal souls just by beating up a spirit really hard. Although, the image of a Bean pulling some Ghost Rider Penance Stare move simply through fisticuffs alone is, admittedly, very funny.

Though regardless, Numpty can still rip and tear apart ghosts if he so pleases.

Both

Can either of them naturally resurrect?

Given both of their unending existences, and how they’re shown to always be alive later on in their series, one might ponder on if they have evidence for being able to respawn or revive themselves in any ways.

Cuddles

Despite the initial impression you might have on HTF, this is actually more contestable than one would expect. HTF characters can endure some pretty ridiculous things like dismemberment, bleeding out endlessly, organ loss, and even decapitation, but if you wanna take into account what they’ve been killed by and came back by the next episode they’ve come back from almost complete disintegration on multiple occasions, as well as potentially having their ancestors be killed?… With not really an established limit to what they can come back from just due to how the series works. But the work in finding out if it’s legitimate or not put our brains in a combined twister, as it’s never really shown on-screen within the main show of a HTF character just coming back fairly quickly after death, and there’s no evidence to say coming back in another episode would count for a short or even legitimate timeframe for resurrection. This is solely because of the fact that the creators of HTF have gone on record saying the reason HTF characters constantly come back all the time (usually changes just for the bit but) is usually because the show just doesn’t have a continuity with its plot or narrative, almost like they can just pull a character back to be perfectly fine in the next episode often in a different role with absolutely no consequences whatsoever, it’s just a meta thing really… No potential arguments against this, you could say that there’s evidence HTF characters are aware of the fact that they die, either because of incredibly out of context lines under HTF characters incoherent mutters, or Flaky seemingly being aware of Flippy’s split personality, despite the fact that technically wouldn’t instantly make it clear Flaky is aware that she has been killed by Flippy, and more of just a case of her knowing how dangerous Fliqpy can be. There’s also the characters in HTF that are canonically dead and are confirmed to be staying that way, like The Ant’s Father, Pop’s Wife, etc and… these are just so confusing to actually comprehend with the logic presented in the series, since we never know how they actually die, nor how it fits into the actual canon of HTF, like how it’s barely treated more like an inconvenience when Cub gets squished by a gravestone right in front of his own Mother’s grave. For the most part due to how it’s just sort of portrayed as a thing with the show not having continuity and having a more episodic cartoon syndrome to it… in the main show resurrection shows little arguments for being legitimate.

However, there is one argument to be made that could save this idea, in the Flash game “Fire Escape” the whole gameplay revolves around Flaky trying to save the falling characters from a burning building in completely random orders, the game is neverending until you mess up enough times and let the characters splat on the ground into a puddle of blood, sometimes you can literally get two of the same character on screen at once, and even if the character you failed to save dies from the fall, they can still just jump off the building the same. So you could use this to maybe argue that their resurrection can be seen as more passive in the game, and on a decent scale as well. But for one, this is pretty clearly a one-off example as no other material in HTF really shows the resurrection taking effect this efficiently, there’s of course also the fact it doesn’t make logical sense in context… while this game isn’t not canon, the logic in the game when it comes to this isn’t exactly consistent across HTF as a whole, no character shows the ability to duplicate, and that would explain why there can be multiple of the same character, and also seems to imply that just dying on the ground causes them to respawn up on top of the building. Plus it wouldn’t make sense in context for these characters in multiple groups to be respectively escaping the building multiple times.

While that was a headache and a half to discuss, we think it’s pretty clear that characters in HTF can’t really resurrect naturally, as shocking as that may be to hear. Although in the beginning of Deadeye Derby, you’re physically given extra lives after the tutorial and it seems that Lumpy even sells them in the shop, but even then these extra lives aren’t endless. They may also explain why Sniffles came back as a boss not too long after you kill him in the tutorial of the game. So, while it’s not technically infinite, if you mix the games with the shows then they can likely respawn more than once but not endlessly.

Numpty

Now that we’ve answered for Cuddles, can Numpty himself and any other Beans resurrect? Well, we think signs point to yes. Dying and coming back is a process straight up mentioned by Numpty himself, meaning it’s at the very least a canonical occurrence. More evidence of this is that extra lives in some of the games are acknowledged, and there’s literally even a hospital that Beans are rushed to when they run out of their current extra lives. Although it’s worth noting there they’re still not technically “dead” yet, just incapacitated. In Dumb Ways to Draw, we even see blood from a Bean’s previous death on the floor when they revive, meaning reviving isn’t a process of just rewinding back to the state of which a Bean was alive. Though… it is the player themselves clicking the retry button so, how do we determine that the Beans themselves are doing this without outside help? There’s not an instance of the Beans interacting with the HUD or anything, is there? Well, yes there is! In the Dumb Choices trailer we specifically see the Beans interacting with the same choices you get during the game itself. This is consistent with their ability to interact with the fourth wall, so this shouldn’t be considered an outlier.

The only potential issue with a Bean’s resurrection is that we have to assume in between deaths the screen that shows the Bean who just died is some kind of space between being not quite dead and not quite alive. This is likely the case, or at the very least close to it, as again Numpty (as an NPC here even) mentions that coming back from death is a thing that canonically happens within the series.

They scale to each other?!

One last final thing we’ve yet to mention is that HTF and DW2D can potentially scale to each other. There’s an official crossover in which Dumbville doesn’t seem too far away from Happy Tree Town, quite literally being only a couple train stops away. Given that HTF and DW2D are pretty loose with their canons, and Putz even can take hits from Nutty, means that they potentially take place in the same universe and are also comparable in stats to one another. Though we get that it may seem like kind of a cop out to suddenly equalize stats out of nowhere, so we’ll view our final verdicts through two different lenses for if it actually matters in the long run or not.

Tributes

Link to trailer!
Shitpost and Trailer by AlfieMations

Verdicts

Instead of doing a team VS team verdict, we thought individual verdicts would be better since we don’t have a huge research team this time, but we still have enough disagreements that one verdict on its own wouldn’t be able to cover everything.

Dash Fish

a cartoon of a lily pad in a pond with the words fuck you i am turning you into a cat

Oh what a time it was rewatching DW2D stuff. I used to be a big fan of the series when I was younger and I like completely forgot about it for an entire decade up until this point. Same kinda goes for HTF, tbh. Anyways, let's start my verdict!

Stats

For stats that I think it’s fair to say AP and durability are interchangeable here. Not because durability always equals power, but because the Tree Friends and Beans have been shown to be able to damage one another and fight on-par from time to time. So I’ll just be trying to figure out who’s the overall stronger one between the two.

On the low ends both Cuddles and Numpty can get to a variety of Wall to Small Building Level feats. Cuddles has slightly higher Small Building feats a couple regular Building feats to put him higher in that regard, but Numpty’s low ends peak at Dean surviving that space shuttle explosion coming around to Large Building (7.7 Tons of TNT) vs Cuddles scaling to Lumpy getting hit by a train at Large Building to City Block Level (3 - 5 - 34 Tons of TNT). While Cuddles takes that on the high end, Numpty would take it on the low to mid ends. I’m not sure I exactly buy a simple train crash getting a City Block Level feat like that, but regardless Cuddles can get higher with more reliable feats anyways, so I think Cuddles takes low end strength / durability overall.

Now middle end stuff, past Wall to City Block and whatnot. Cuddles was launched into space by Lumpy, coming out to Large Town Level (110 Kilotons of TNT) while Numpty scales to Loopy throwing a hammer so hard that it caused a Large Town Level explosion (105 Kilotons of TNT). That is nearly a 5 Kilotons of TNT difference, meaning they’re pretty even in this regard. Jumping to Numpty’s second highest feat though, scaling to Ninny surviving a Small County Level explosion (1.16 Teratons of TNT) makes for a hell of a strength gap here. Cuddles can only scale to things via Splendid, which is pretty questionable in my opinion, as it relies on talking about the game for Cuddles to be comparable. I’d say Numpty more reliably takes mid ends here.

Now for both of their highest ends. While I just said Cuddles scaling to Splendid is kinda weird, it’s the only way Cuddles can match Numpty here so I’ll allow it for the verdict’s sake. Cuddles’s strongest feat of strength literally comes from Splendid farting so hard he covers the entire Earth. This comes out to around Large Planet Level (174 Yottatons of TNT) because of course it fucking does, but Numpty far surpasses this by Mishap’s planet destroying feat that comes out to Star Level (166 Quettatons of TNT). Because of Cuddles’s questionable scaling and whatnot, I’d say Numpty pretty easily takes the high end strength here.

Low ends: Cuddles. Mid ends: Numpty. High ends: Numpty. Numpty is consistently the stronger one of the two.

Now for speed! I’ll be doing the same I did with strength. On the low end both scale to various Subsonic feats getting to around similar speeds. The highest for their Subsonic speeds would be taken by Cuddles outrunning a truck 272.9 m/s, beating out Numpty scaling to Stumble catching up to a plane at 257.048 m/s. Though this is hardly the end-all-be-all. On the low end of the Mach speeds, Cuddles can scale to Fliqpy, killing a bunch of people really quickly at Hypersonic+ speeds (Mach 10) and Mime keeping pace with a rocket at High Hypersonic speeds (Mach 33). Similarly, Numpty scales to Doofus who climbed Mt. Rushmore at Supersonic speeds (Mach 1.69) and Zany who ran to the top of a volcano at the Hypersonic+ high end (Mach 10). Cuddles pretty clearly takes low end speeds.

Mid ends, going past Mach 33 has Cuddles scaling to all of the characters in Deadeye Derby being able to perceive tank fire in slow-motion. This gets out to High Hypersonic+ speeds (Mach 2,597). The highest measurements in Mach Numpty can scale to are Loopy moving in tandem with lightning, being Massively Hypersonic (Mach 101), and Noob literally being able to dodge lightning that’s also MHS (Mach 351.8). While both can scale to Santa in some way, at Mach 8668, I’m honestly curious as to how accurate that is lol. And since both can scale to it in some way (without getting into equalizing stats) makes it kind of a moot point to me. Cuddles also gets higher with his Relativistic ends. Highest Numpty can get is Madcap moving in tandem with a laser (0.51c) and Cuddles slightly beats it out with scaling to Flippy escaping a trap in a flash of light (0.77c). Cuddles takes mid end speeds.

Now high ends, which is where shit drastically changes. Cuddles’s highest speed he can get to is ONLY if he scales to Splendid reversing the Earth’s rotation at FTL speeds (26c). Not only does Numpty scale to Bozo verbatim traveling faster than the speed of light, he also can scale to Mishap piloting a ship to Saturn at MFTL+ speeds (2981c). But no, we’re not even done yet here. Numpty himself as well as other Beans can casually swim through space past black holes (1.8 Billion c), obviously MFTL+ again. The only way Cuddles can hope to counter this is scaling to Splendid’s immeasurable planet rotation feat, but like I’ve said before him scaling to that is very questionable and not really buyable. Numpty very easily takes high end speeds.

Low ends: Cuddles. Mid ends: Cuddles. High ends: Numpty. Cuddles is faster on two other levels but Numpty is so much faster on high ends that I really don’t even think it matters here. Cuddles is consistently faster but the fact that Numpty has much more reliable high ends makes me think that he likely would be faster most of the time.

Arsenal / Abilities

We can cover abilities first. To start they actually have pretty similar base abilities. Fourth Wall Awareness, NPI, Enhanced Senses and weirdly multiple forms of Money Manipulation. Though I think Numpty takes this category by having both flight and fire powers on his side. HTF characters have endured being set ablaze before, but it still clearly affects them, and I just don’t know what Cuddles is gonna be doing to combat Numpty’s better mobility with flight. Although Numpty clearly doesn’t use that power all the time, he’s still shown to be way more agile in his minigames compared to anything we’ve seen Cuddles do so regardless Numpty would still be a lot more acrobatic. Then there’s Numpty’s power / item nullification in the form of his board game ability “Set Fire to Everything”. Interpreting this in a VS context is kinda interesting because it would act as a way for Numpty to stop any active items Cuddles is using, but I imagine it isn’t that reliable in general. Since the card itself has to be discarded after usage, and also Numpty has to know beforehand what item out of Cuddles’s hundreds of items he’s going to be using, makes this hard to determine so yeah it would hardly make a difference. Still a little bit of a difference, though! Numpty has slightly better innate abilities.

Then there’s arsenal which like… yeah wtf is Numpty gonna do here lol. Cuddles has a MUCH larger arsenal to the point where it’s not even funny. Sure Numpty has a better variety of vehicles and a way to increase his speed slightly but none of that compares to some of Cuddles’s equipment. Both have pretty even equipment if you only look at their random one-off stuff but Cuddles has stuff that can make him invulnerable, boost his speed, inject poison and lightning into people, a million fucking guns to choose from, explosives, something called a Devil’s Arsonist? What the fuck? I could go on. These would significantly help out Cuddles in the fight, granting him better survivability with healing and stuff like the Totem would help kill Numpty a lot more than usual. While Numpty does have a resistance to stuff like lightning and poison, that stuff does still affect him physically, it just doesn’t fully kill him is all. Hey but Numpty has a pitchfork and a viking’s hat! That’s enough, right guys? Cuddles’s items are WAY better than Numpty’s. (And I’ll elaborate on that in just a minute…)

Tertiary Factors

This is basically just for skill and experience. We see Cuddles get more up-close and personal in combative scenarios, obviously with things like Deadeye Derby and the Crackpet Show Cuddles is gonna have a lot more skill in that department. Comparatively with Numpty, he’s absolutely more skilled and experienced just in every other way, honestly. Numpty’s smart fella, he’s gone through parenthood, knows how to survive the wilderness, competed in the Dumblymics with other Beans, and I honestly think the BIQ vs every other kind of IQ is enough to balance it out there. I know there’s that one statement of Cuddles being equipped in martial arts training but really I don’t think that’s very reliable since like… bro never throws a single punch. Maybe he just never uses that knowledge, I dunno. It just isn’t concrete enough for me, personally. Then there’s also support, even if it’s very little. Numpty’s birds are a lot more helpful in terms of mobility than the mouse who can just scare elephants. If Numpty was part elephant then maybe we’d have something to talk about, but alas. So yeah Numpty technically has better support as well. Because of that I’ll give the tertiary category to Numpty but only by a bit.

Survivability

And finally, Survivability! Talking about this one last since I think it ultimately determines the winner. In terms of resurrections, Numpty clearly takes it here due to having better evidence for canonically (and infinitely!) reviving himself. Cuddles only has at least 50 lives, so how can Cuddles even win here before Numpty just eventually kills him 50 times? Well, remember how I made a big deal about Cuddles having a vastly bigger arsenal? That comes in handy here. The item “Meat Boys” has a small chance to revive a downed enemy as a zombified ally. If this happens, Numpty wouldn’t have a reason to fight anymore, and this would act as a win for Cuddles. So the question now becomes: How well can Numpty avoid death from Cuddles before he inevitably loses? Well, we need to get into specifics. Which of Cuddles’s items are most likely to kill Numpty and which ones is he likely to resist?

Affected by:

  • Atomic Buns / most explosives - Blows up anything in the way. Numpty would 100% die instantly. We’ve seen Beans come back from stuff like being turned to ash and their skeletons but this would instantly vaporize a bitch.
  • Poison / Poison Skin - Numpty would resist this less well than other things, and likely eventually be killed if its damage goes on for too long.
  • Forcefield - Numpty has no counter to this, and would help Cuddles bide time in between deaths.
  • Taunt Totem - Similar to the forcefield this also helps Cuddles stall, making Numpty lose his focus, which he’s really gonna need here.
  • Invisibility - Numpty has no way to see people who’ve gone invisible so… helps with stealth I suppose.
  • Lifesteal - Helps Cuddles stay alive when he kills Numpty. With how much Numpty dies this item is basically an infinite health pool for Cuddles.
  • Auto Revive - This basically gives Cuddles one extra life upon death. 51 lives instead of 50 now!
  • Fart / Stinky Mine - This would likely incapacitate Numpty since he doesn’t have a resistance to heavy fragrances or anything.
  • Meat Boys - Could potentially revive Numpty as Cuddles’s ally.

Resists / Counters:

  • Fire / Lava Cannon / anything that does fire damage - Yeah Numpty easily resists this. He can make a shield to negate any fire damage, etc.
  • Lightning / Zap Gun / anything that does electricity damage - Numpty would resist this pretty well, down to his skeleton even, and still be fine. Or bro could just dodge the lightning outright.
  • Vortex Gun - Numpty literally swims out of black holes just fine, if these are even real black holes that is.
  • Most long-ranged projectiles - Numpty is a lot faster so it would be harder to close the gap with Numpty, who’d likely be fighting up close more often (since he has more close-up stuff).

Now, with all of this laid out, who do I think takes it? Well… not gonna lie, I still think Numpty does. Let me explain. The whole thing with the Crackpet Show items in the first place is that the user doesn’t really have access to all of them 100% of the time. The game itself works like a roguelike where you choose one each level, meaning Cuddles even using Meat Boys seems pretty unlikely to me. But, just for the sake of the argument, let’s say Cuddles starts the fight with every single item from the games under his belt. There's only a small chance that Numpty will be revived as Cuddles’s ally, it’s not really reliable enough for me to consider it as a super likely win con. What is more reliable is just saying Numpty just has to kill Cuddles 50 times in a row and then he wins. Easy as that. There’s nothing stopping Numpty from just flying up in the air and pelting Cuddles with his fire attacks from a distance. While yes, Tree Friends have survived being burnt alive before Numpty’s fire projection is far greater than anything an HTF character has endured, so I think it’s likely to kill Cuddles pretty easily. Also, there’s another thing like… Numpty’s immortality is just so much better than any other Tree Friend’s. Beans can survive without their skin, without their limbs attached, being chopped up into various pieces, and are like… all fine with it. HTF characters though, they die MUCH easier after one or two hits. Also when Numpty does die it’s usually to his own hubris or mistakes, while with Meat Boys specifically it has to be Cuddles himself that kills Numpty. And since Numpty already has better stats in most departments, and even has ways to increase his own physicality through his Run Speed and Push Force stats in Dumb Ways to Dash. Cuddles would fall pretty fast and inevitably lose to the fiery blue Bean.

Equalized Stats

Well this depends. Now if they have the same speeds neither of them can get the jump on one another and we’d really have to rely on tertiary and arsenal diffs to determine anything. Numpty’s flight and fire combo could help out from a distance, but I feel like this scenario wouldn’t really change too much. Sure, more hits would take Numpty out, but the same can easily be said for Cuddles. Numpty still has the one objective of killing the rabbit 50 times, which again just seems a lot more easily executable then Cuddles hoping and praying for one item to activate.

Conclusion

Cuddles definitely has ways to stall out Numpty for a time, an arsenal and mindset much more suited for combat, but in a war of attrition I personally see Numpty taking things more often than not. With higher stats and an infinite number of retries, it’s pretty clear that I’ll be siding with the Bean rather than the bunny.

The winner is Numpty.

AlfieMations

(Shoutout to me for making the render lol)

Well… it’s come to this. It’s been so long since we’ve done a verdict like this before, and I am here to support the matchup that… Well, we’ll get to it a little later!…

Well here’s what I think. Normally with these I’d go in line with the general factors both have and compare them with one another generally, but with this matchup it’s a different case… so for this, I’m going to start off my section with.

Stats

So generally when it comes to stats, there are multiple different ends you could use.

Starting with Power generally from what can seen, even at a low end Cuddles just seems to have much easier feats to actually quantify and stretch out the range of, meanwhile the thing with Dumb Ways to Die is that while it generally is a thing, there are typical few and far between ranges of characters in the series being able to actually damage each other physically, so it’s sort of hard to scale their attack potency to their durability… because the big feat in DWTD is technically done through a another source/weapon rather than the characters own power. I honestly think it’s a little confusing, but we did have that discussion before and for the sake of it I’ll take it that way for the purpose of the debate, and Numpty’s best feat worth scaling to is Loopy throwing that hammer throw ball hard enough that it created an explosion in the distance, getting to just over a hundred Kilotons of TNT, but even then that gets outclassed by some of the more low end HTF stuff, looping durability into this section too, since HTF characters have been shown multiple times able to match each other in strength and even physically kill each other we can likely scale Cuddles to feats like Lumpy launching him into space which gets a similar range, before you get into feats like Giggles chopping down a beanstalk that reaches into the clouds which gets about 3 Megatons, or Flaky screaming loud enough to create an avalanche which gets 24 Gigatons, and so forth…

All around when you're just looking at AP feats, no matter the end Cuddles takes it more often than not.

However… Durability is a different story. As it is very often that characters in DW2D can survive an incredible level of power.

Though starting with Cuddles, this still applies to Attack Potency but discussing feats characters survive, on the low end several characters can survive explosion which can get between Wall and Building level, Lifty can survive a volcanic eruption which get 75 Megatons, there are several feats that can get into the Gigatons range, like Giggles surviving a massive dam flooding, as well as her body being in tandem after a meteor explosion which has a high end getting 12 Gigatons, I mentioned the Avalanche feat earlier which Disco Bear also survives that would likely get lower than the feat previously due to surface area, speaking of which we can transition into the ends of that explosion Splendid created which factoring in surface area of Lumpy and the other characters can get between Island and Country, the latter end being backed up by Lumpy being able to pilot Santa’s sleigh, and the best feat of all, Lumpy surviving the heat from his Christmas lights which just gets into Multi-Continent level.

Though with Numpty scaling to the other beans there’s at least consistent feats that get into the low end of Country level, like Ninny surviving the red button explosion, as well as Klaus also piloting Santa’s sleigh, but we then jump to a pretty insane feat… and while I think the application of the feat is questionable… Mishap might’ve survived the explosion of Saturn which gets to Star level. This actually gets reasonably higher than any feat in HTF.

So if we say this feat is actually legitimate, Numpty actually breaks a versus tradition and takes Durability when Cuddles was stronger.

Finally is Speed, and this one is actually more variable on the low end, these two both have a lot of Subsonic to Hypersonic level feats, both of them are generally pretty even in terms of Subsonic feats, 272.9 m/s => 257.048 m/s. Both do equal in terms of the Hypersonic ends as both pretty much scale to the same high end feat of Lumpy and Klaus respectively piloting Santa’s sleigh.

Both do have some Relativistic and FTL ends, but both again lead in favour of Cuddles, 0.76 - 1.87c > 0.51c - Roughly FTL.

So Cuddles generally takes the edge in speed in terms of low/mid ends…

But it’s when we get to high ends that things drastically shift around in a frankly dangerous way.

Cuddles could likely scale to Splendid’s low end feat of traveling around the earth getting to 26c, but… Numpty’s the only one here with solid MFTL feats, like Mishap making that trip to Saturn getting over 2000c, and Numpty flying through space past a black hole that gets 8 Billion c, literally millions of times faster than Cuddles high end scaling… you could say Cuddles could scale to Splendid’s Immeasurable feat, but we generally agreed there’s not enough to justify that being true.

So if we go all out Numpty takes the Speed edge pretty clearly.

Overall depending on how you interpret stats, things can be interesting, however for the most part Attack Potency is pretty much irrelevant since both of them are too durable for their AP to confidently damage each other.

Although Numpty has a significantly higher end for speed I think overall he should take the edge in Overall High End Stats.

Survivability

However… There's an aspect that kind of makes stats somewhat unimportant, that’s how well they can not stay dead. And this isn’t really as interesting as was anticipated, because Cuddles unlike Numpty, can’t actually naturally resurrect under normal circumstances, meanwhile it has been established in multiple sources of DW2D characters being capable of resurrecting themselves with essentially no known limit, to the point they can come back from being reduced to ash and blood, now admittedly Cuddles can also temporarily stay alive longer with the 50 extra lives he can get up to plus the extra ones from The Crackpet Show. It’s still a limited number, meaning that realistically Numpty only has to kill Cuddles about 50 Times to win.

But given the fact that both of them can’t really damage each other via physical stats… how would this even matter? Well that’s where we get to…

Arsenal / Abilities

Perhaps one of the most important factors in this debate, what do these two actually have to throw at each other?

Starting off with their equipment… frankly it’s not really much of a contest, at least offensively. Numpty has like what?… a hammer, a cleaver, a lighter? Mostly just normal everyday equipment that can be dangerous in real life circumstances, meanwhile Cuddles pretty match has an entire weapons closet load across 3 different games, of which can allow Cuddles weapons that can shoot out multiple bullets at a time of varying damage, shoot vortex’s that can suck enemies in, stun and immobilize enemies, poison and drain their health, bring extra support to Cuddles side, reflect enemy projectiles, make Cuddles invincible and invisible, destroy every enemy, including their projectiles in a fairly wide radius and the list goes on.

Now to Numpty’s credit they both have equal amounts of variety when it comes to the vehicles they have, and Numpty may even have an edge in that regard due to having multiple air mobile equipment like a plane and jetpack. But overall much more of the stuff Cuddles is frankly enough to make Cuddles contend with the amount of stuff Numpty just has on his own.

When it comes to abilities Numpty has more in this regard than the arsenal. For 50% of their more minor abilities they are both shared, 4th Wall Awareness, Non Physical Interaction and Enhanced Senses albeit in different ways.

For Cuddles you can likely take the Perks he has access to in The Crackpet Show since they are pretty much biologically transferred into him which can be given with multiple perks at once. This can do things like add on specific aspects to his weapons like making them stun, or poison enemies, making it so touching him can hurt you, make his bullets bounce off walls, home in on enemies, fire in larger quantities at once and much more…

But Numpty’s abilities are actually quite potent the more looking into there is. Firstly to make his air based transportation moot, he can straight up fly on his own, giving him a general mobility advantage over Cuddles, he can also generate fire from his hands which is able to completely vaporise his own flesh, which is quite impressive when Numpty’s fire is already so hot that it can’t be put out while out in the rain or even in outer space, this level of heat could be enough to burn Cuddles to a crisp. He also has the “Set Fire to Everything” ability from the card game that could pretty much prevent Cuddles from using his items for a brief period however, it’s only a one time use, and besides Cuddles has like 50 more items and abilities that could just immobilize Numpty in place for a pretty decent period of time.

All around I would say this category is roughly a Tie, given that both of them don’t have too much in these factors, but what they do have is quite deadly and useful.

Cuddles does win this category overall though due to just having a far superior arsenal.

Tertiary Factors

Many may say their arsenal and abilities are important to this debate… but this is the true dealbreaker right here, getting into the major specifics, and this category doesn’t usually get taken in this direction with how we’ve done it before.

I guess to get the usual part out of the way… Numpty is very likely smarter despite it only really being a thing of book smarts, likely has an athletic edge, but I’d say Cuddles arguably has more battle experience if you wanna take that Collect Em All Card statement as gospel lol, but both has also just been in a lot of similar adventures. I’d probably say Numpty takes this section but it’s not too much of an advantage.

The important part is that there’s a certain Perk from The Crackpet Show that I left out earlier, that you more than likely just glossed over in the arsenal section, Meat Boys… might not sound too interesting at first… but let me remind you how it works, it makes it so that when you kill enemies in the game, there’s a chance that the fallen enemy will reanimate as an undead zombie that is and ally of Cuddles. Now going through this you might be wondering, how is Cuddles gonna kill Numpty?… I’ll be honest, he can’t… but technically through this, it’s very likely that if Cuddles kills Numpty a certain amount of times, Numpty will eventually resurrect… as an ally of Cuddles, essentially being a victory via incapacitation.

Now I did say it has probability of happening, meaning it isn’t 100% likely the perk will take effect on its first use when Cuddles kills Numpty… however it can still take effect within a fairly short number of kills, this is most likely done due to the fact that you fight so many enemies in one round that it becomes more likely that at least one of them will be affected by the Meat Boys perk. Because of the fact Numpty has to kill Cuddles 50 times to win, I think it’s safe to say that more often than not, Cuddles would have to kill Numpty significantly less times for him to affect Numpty with the Meat Boys perk and win that way because while there’s no real mathematical fraction of a chance it could effect, I feel like it’s at least bigger than 1/50.

But since Numpty is so much faster if we use reasonable high end scaling, how is Cuddles gonna get chances to hit him at all?

Well first of all Cuddles has multiple aoe based items that could either stun Numpty for brief periods, or instantly kill him with the Atomic Buns, along with the Buns of Steel and Turbo Buns assuming he makes contact with Numpty. The more he does so the more likely it’ll be for Numpty to be converted to a Cuddles side after resurrecting multiple times.

Something also worth noting… is that a lot of the resistances mentioned for Numpty are for the most part stuff that he resist via being able to canonical resurrect from, not something he can just resist on his own, like poison which Cuddles has multiple ways to inflict on him, you could say the instance of Numpty downing gasoline could give him resistance, but this is clearly a different type of poisoning, while Al’s explicit draining the enemy of health, negating durability.

But also when regarding the speed difference… Cuddles has many ways of playing the war of attrition game. He can use the Force-Field Item to block Numpty attacks for a brief period, he could likely avoid Numpty with the Invisibility item, he could remove Numpty’s attention from him with the Taunt Totem perhaps being one of the most useful items here, but perhaps one of the most useful aspects in this fight when it comes to one of these two outlasting the other…

Stamina. Numpty has been shown to visually get tired before, he has literally died and collapsed from exhaustion before lol… meanwhile Cuddles has a shit ton of items which he could use to completely heal himself and likely his vitality to full, along with HTF characters just having insane endurance when it comes to what they can keep on going from, but Cuddles can also just bring himself to physical condition while Numpty will get more tired as the fight goes on which will slow him down significantly as a result, even in the air.

And the more this goes on, the easier it will be to put him down each time, meanwhile Cuddles has a plethora of ways to stay alive longer than most would expect, especially when Numpty only really has one attack that can actually potentially kill Cuddles to begin with. Cuddles has ways to mitigate the speed disadvantage which is already probably the biggest boon for Numpty in this situation, and it’d only be a matter of time but likely shorter for Cuddles the Numpty before Numpty succumbs.

While this was by far the beefiest discussion here by far, I think there’s a lot riding on this and I think Cuddles has everything he needs to keep up in this fight.

Conclusion

Overall I think this matchup is ridiculous close that could go any way, the matchup basically comes down to either if Numpty can kill Cuddles enough times to kill him off permanently, or can Cuddles kill Numpty enough times to where the Meat Boys Perk could effect Numpty and reduce him to a state that would count as a win via incapacitation?

We’ve had a lot of matchups where the win-cons were who could kill the other the quickest, this might be the longest drawn out fight we might have regarding the debate lol.

But ultimately (and not out of bias even though bias heavily influenced the effort I had to put into this) Cuddles’ absurd versatility, incredible support items and enduring body let him find the lighter at the end of the tunnel enough to leave Numpty completely burnt.

Stats Equalised

It’d be an incredibly high diff battle, but I think he could pull it off… However, how would things change if stats are equal? Well honestly it would just lean in favour of Cuddles even more most likely, while Numpty would potentially have more power to damage Cuddles normally, in this scenario it doesn’t matter since Cuddles already has items to shield, and heal himself should Numpty sustain too much damage on him, and he only really has to watch out for his fire, which should be even easier here given speed being equalised not even include the speed buffing items Cuddles has.

So in this scenario I can more safely say Cuddles wins probably more Mid Diff.

Moofie

This is technically my first time doing a result like this, I helped research the DW2D side (and be apart of Team Numpty) as I had fond memories of the video in the past and was surprised to see that the series is still somehow going, and will even be getting another game after this blog concludes! So let's get into that!

Stats

I’ll be examining the stats between the two for their low ends, middle ends and high ends to see where I place them at each stage. But first, let’s start with Strength / Durability.

It’s important to note though that I don’t buy Cuddles scaling to Splendid, really at all. Consistently shown to be far weaker, the evidence for the characters' scaling work on flimsy logic at best like his super-hearing (even though it's inconsistent in the episodes it's in). And the only way you could argue that he does is through his slingshots, otherwise no budge.

Low Ends (Wall - City Block)

Cuddles:

Numpty:

Cuddles should take the lower ends. Albeit you could discount the City Block feat due to the vagueness of them actually surviving the explosion because we only see their bodies, but even if you do, Cuddles should still be slightly stronger.

Middle Ends (Small Town - Small Country):

Cuddles:

Numpty:

Yeah, this isn’t really fair. Cuddles should take the mid ends. Though if you want to be fair and not use the Santa feats for both ends then Numpty doesn’t take quantity but more so the quality of scaling to Ninny pressing the red button. So you could argue on the higher end of the mid end that Numpty could take it, but I’d argue that Cuddles should be reliable considering there’s more feats to back it up rather than one good feat. But now…

High Ends (Multi-Continental Vs. Star):

Cuddles:

Numpty:

This is where the fun begins. Considering there isn’t much of a catalog for HTF’s higher end feats without Splendid here it gets a bit more questionable. Though personally, I don’t really have issues with these feats. But now this leads back to the mid ends, so as for having the more consistent high end… I’ll have to say Numpty takes this. DW2D has more Small Country level feats to go off than HTF’s, leading to me buying the highest ends because, y’know, they’re high ends.

So in a pure strength comparison Cuddles should take the lower ends and the middle ends for the quantity. While Numpty should take the quality of the middle ends and the high ends. Personally giving Cuddles the more consistent edge in Attack Potency. But as for the Durability side, I’m going to give this to Numpty. Don’t get me wrong, while I’d argue that Happy Tree Friends does seem more consistent in the stat department, most of these feats for durability don’t work as well. For the lower end, Cuddles doesn’t even survive the feat Flippy does. Nor can you really prove that the brain explosion feat works too considering we know they died because of the graves shown, all that the feat shows is that their bodies somewhat do. In the middle end, that’s more fair to say in Cuddles favor however Numpty still has the stronger ends. And then finally the high ends, that should be exactly what I said for Numpty taking the ends before. Cuddles should be somewhat consistently Stronger, while Numpty should take Durability.

Now let’s get into the Speed factor.

Low Ends (Superhuman - Massively Hypersonic+):

Cuddles:

Numpty:

Numpty should take this, at best you could claim that Numpty is either slightly slower or ties in speed. But I’d say overall he has faster lower end feats.

Middle Ends (Sub-Relativistic - Relativistic+):

Cuddles:

Numpty:

This is a bit more tricky considering there’s only two feats to Numpty’s name here, however I think I’d still give it to Numpty. While most of these feats aren’t the best for representing speed, I believe Numpty and Madcap’s are probably the more buyable feats in my opinion as a middle end. Flippy's, while a good feat, is hard to judge as a whole considering the episode premise. The others are simply a lot harder to judge from a versus perspective, at least with me.

High Ends (FTL - MFTL+):

Cuddles:

  • Disco Bear can move in tandem with light beams, 2nd part, 2nd end. (1.87c, FTL)

Numpty:

As for the high ends, yeah Numpty takes this. I’ve already gone over the DB feat and the Bozo feat, while more valid in my opinion considering he’s seen reacting to the stuff happening, is vaguely more slower than the DB one. But Numpty swimming past multiple black holes simply seals the deal for me in terms of high end feats.

So if it wasn’t hard to tell, I believe Numpty should take the low ends, middle ends and high ends more consistently than Cuddles speed feats should. This isn’t taking account for the training Numpty does that has a possible limit of 99, either giving him a multiplier of 33 or 14 depending on whether you use either the Run Speed (LVL 3-) or Agility (LVL 7-).

Arsenal / Abilities

There isn’t much of a contest, sure some of what Numpty has could be useful tools like his cleaver or lighter, not to mention his many transportation options like his plane and boat for example.

But Numpty just doesn’t compare to the massive arsenal Cuddles has from Run and Bun, Deadeye Derby and Crackpet Show all put together. All of which provide unique abilities that Numpty mostly doesn’t have counters to like being distracted mid-fight, forcefields, toxins, paralysis, the numerous explosions, etc. And that’s just with the weaponry! This isn’t even including the healing options, homing bullets, split bullets, zombies, revive options, invisibility, damage boosts, honestly I could go on and on. But you get the picture as Cuddles takes the Arsenal side of things due to the many advantages they bring. So let’s move onto their Abilities.

This is disregarding their weaponry and perks from before so what do they have? Well, not much as I’m purposefully ignoring two of their most powerful abilities for now but they do both have non-physical interactions, that's cool. But Numpty is able to target and kill souls. They both have enhanced senses, but Numpty’s is seen to be more dynamic in a skilled environment rather than pointing out the obvious, they both share fourth wall manipulation but DW2D characters can exit their medium. And that’s where Cuddles stops tying in abilities to then where Numpty takes the advantage. His fire manipulation can most likely pass through Cuddles own fire resistance due to the fact that… it can actually kill Numpty himself! Not to mention his flight, while reactable on Cuddles’ end, isn’t something he can naturally pull off himself given Numpty’s greater speeds. Giving Numpty the advantage in pure-innate Abilities.

Tertiary Stuff

Both have competed in several dangerous games and come out mostly fine on top of it all, not to mention all the jobs they’ve taken on top of that too. But I think I’ll give this to Numpty. He’s taken the skills he’s learnt into what he does normally, rather than in Happy Tree Friends with Cuddles ending up dead with those jobs. This isn’t even taken account for the times Numpty has spent training in becoming a superhero, obstacle courses (and possibly reaching LVL 99 or up in multiple skills) and a beanscout, learning how to make homemade explosions for example. With only the master of karate thing as vague, considering we never see Cuddles do any karate lol. Giving this to Numpty in intellect and skill. Also forgot to mention their allies, they don’t really matter much but Numpty’s birds offer him greater mobility, so there.

Cuddles’ Immortality Vs. Numpty’s Immortality

So finally, we’ve come down to the wire with their most notable and potent abilities. If you’ve seen the other verdicts you’ll know where this comes down to. The Meat boys. The very small part of Cuddles’ perks that could hypothetically turn Numpty into a zombie-ally given enough deaths that Cuddles does to Numpty with the perk. But that’s the thing though, right? The catch is that for the revive options that Cuddles has which should be about 50 to 51, while less than Numpty’s, which should be infinite, could potentially kill him enough times to trigger the perk. That involves bypassing Numpty’s far greater durability, and to be fair to Cuddles he definitely has ways to bypass it through his massive arsenal, but this ignores two small parts: This a Dumb Ways to Die character and the AOE stuff, for example, don’t use the Meat Boys. And before, yes, I do believe Numpty is more intelligent and skilled, he is still incompetent at most stuff and will accidentally kill himself. Negating the Meat Boys perk significantly, allowing Numpty in that time to use his fire manipulation and such to kill Cuddles enough times to deplete his lives. Leaving Cuddles stuck on the backburner using any other tools that won’t permanently kill Numpty or that he could mostly just tank (see Dash’s section for more information on that). Nor do I believe Cuddles would initially be smart enough to see that he won’t be able to permanently put down Numpty to use the Meat Boys, he could at a certain point realize that, but by then it would be far too late. Giving Numpty the far better regeneration, and way more reliable ways to permanently put down Cuddles.

Equalized Stats

But to be fair to Cuddles here, I do think if put under equalized stats he’ll have a much better time at taking down Numpty. Though the problems mentioned before would still likely be taken into account.

Conclusion

All in all, Numpty, combined together with his overall greater speeds, durability, greater innate abilities, busted immortality in comparison to a life-based system and genuine stupidity clashed with his smarts makes me give the winner to Numpty! Cuddles, my happy tree friend, looks like you just found many dumb ways to die, oh so many dumb ways to die!

John C

I don’t have a unique profile picture.

Hi, my name is John C (the C stands for Castro). You might know me from my Flippy Blog from a while back. I am also the person who found the Gumball Viewcount Feat for the Bencole Blog. Now I don’t know too much about Dumb Ways to Die, but I have decent knowledge on Happy Tree Friends. So I will try to do my own Verdict. This is also the first time I made these, so don’t expect anything fancy. Now with that out of the way, let’s begin.

Stats

This is a weird case, because both have plenty of ranges.

Starting with Power, both are surprisingly strong. With them having various ranges. I will do as I always do and compare their ranges.

Cuddles:

  • Building - City Block Level
  • Town - City Level
  • Mountain - Island Level
  • Small Country - Multi-Continent Level
  • Highest End

Numpty:

  • City Block Level
  • Dean surviving a rocket ship exploding (7.7 tons).
  • Town - City Level
  • Small Country Level
  • Highest End

Comparing the ranges directly.

  • Large Building Level: Numpty (1.344x).
  • City Block Level: Cuddles (7.2x)
  • Large Town Level: Cuddles (2.11x)
  • Small City Level: Cuddles (67.457x… F%*K!) I mean, it’s technically 68, but still
  • City Level: Cuddles (720.1x)
  • Island Level: Cuddles (228,571x)
  • Small Country Level: Tie (What’s this? The Grinch vs Jack Skellington?)
  • Country Level: Cuddles (6.21x)
  • Multi-Continent Level: Cuddles (1928x)
  • 1928 (MCMXXVIII) was a leap year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar, the 1928th year of the Common Era (CE) and Anno Domini (AD) designations, the 928th year of the 2nd millennium, the 28th year of the 20th century, and the 9th year of the 1920s decade… yeah.
  • Highest Ends: Numpty (28,289.85x)

What’s funny here is that Numpty beat Cuddles in both the lowest and highest levels while Cuddles took pretty much all levels in between. Meaning Cuddles would be stronger in most ends, while Numpty would be stronger at their absolute highest ends.

Speed was also an interesting story.

Cuddles:

  • Supersonic - Hypersonic
  • Massively Hypersonic - Sub-Relativistic
  • Viewing Flippy’s tank projectiles in slow-mo (Mach 2597). Lumpy piloting his sleigh (Mach 8668). Lumpy launching Cuddles to space (0.0119 c). Splendid flying to the Moon (0.037 c). Lifty and Shifty moving in tandem with Splenid’s laser (0.02c - 0.044 c). Pop and Cub moving in tandem with light (0.0875 c).
  • Relativistic - FTL
  • Splendid flying to the Moon (0.32 c). Pop and Cub moving in tandem with light (0.537 c). Flippy escaping in a flash of light (0.7678 c). Disco Bear moving in tandem with light (0.236 - 1.87 c). Splendid spinning around the planet (26.1 c).
  • MFTL+

Numpty:

  • Supersonic - Hypersonic
  • Doofus climbing Mount Rushmore (Mach 1.69). Zap running to the top of a volcano (Mach 10).
  • Massively Hypersonic
  • Relativistic - FTL
  • Numpty dodging a laser (0.39 c). Bozo zipping through space at FTL Speeds (vaguely > 1 c).
  • MFTL+

Comparing the ranges directly.

  • Supersonic: Cuddles (5.266x)
  • Hypersonic: Cuddles (4.6x)
  • Massively Hypersonic: Numpty (6.33x)
  • Massively Hypersonic+: Tie (Dang it! I already used my Grinch vs Jack reference in the last section!)
  • Sub-Relativistic: Cuddles (8.8x)
  • Relativistic: Cuddles (1.97x)
  • FTL: Cuddles (roughly 1.87x)
  • MFTL+: Numpty (845,984x)

It’s a similar case to before. With Cuddles taking most of the ranges, Numpty taking two and the both tying in one range. Admittedly, the ranges where Cuddles is faster have less drastic differences than the ranges where Cuddles is stronger. Plus, Numpty’s advantage using their highest speed ranges would be the biggest stat difference by far (even using the old likely outdated calculation that gets much higher than the updated one, Numpty would still be 5.2x faster). So, like before, Cuddles would be faster in most ends, while Numpty would be WAY faster using their highest ends.

Abilities/Equipment

With their stats being more or less a wash. It’s now going to depend on their Abilities and Equipment.

They both match each other in terms of their basic stuff. Such as their absurd resilience, enhanced senses (though those senses are rather different), fourth wall awareness (I don’t call it “Breaking the Fourth Wall” or “Fourth Wall Breaking”, because that implies actually manipulating it, while Fourth Wall Awareness implies being… well, aware of the Fourth Wall, which is more accurate in my opinion), and being able to interact with non-physical interactions

Cuddles definitely had much better Abilities in terms of quantity due to his Crackpet Show Perks. With it doing things like enhancing his weapons and/or their projectiles (which I will get into in a minute), giving damage upon contact, becoming immune to spikes, controlling the area through fiery trails or poison alongside a few other things.

Numpty on the other hand can fly, which would give him a natural mobility advantage against Cuddles. Plus, his ability to generate fire so hot it can vaporize his own flesh, which can resist fire hot enough to survive in the rain and in space. Though, Cuddles can survive shots from Fire Ammo+, which BLUE fire and therefore hotter than normal fire. So Cuddles can potentially survive said fire, though it’s a bit debatable.

Lastly, there is “Set Fire to Everything” which can temporarily prevent Cuddles from using his abilities and weapons. This may sound like a major gamechanger, but I must note this can only be used once, as the card would have to be discarded. Meaning, while this would certainly be effective, it wouldn’t be too much of a problem for Cuddles. So I think they tie in abilities, with Cuddles having more quantity and Numpty slightly taking quality.

In terms of equipment… ok, you should have seen the three previous verdicts by now, Cuddles took it HANDILY. If we don’t bring up their video game stuff though, it’s a-lot closer. With them having a-lot of misc items not of too much note. Numpty had more means of mobility (including birds) and better vehicles, which would let him further outmaneuver Cuddles.

However, Cuddles’ Video Game Stuff came in CLUTCH. Because Cuddles just had a ridiculous amount of items he can use in combat. From his slingshots with various ammo, to his dozens of guns, explosives, stat enhancing options, temporary invulnerability options, various means of area control, invisibility to hide away from Numpty and even summoning members of the audience to fight for him.

Cuddles especially excelled in ranged attacks with his various weapons, which is huge because Numpty does not have any major methods of attacking at a range (from what I can tell), meaning Cuddles could repeatedly attack a distance while Numpty would have to get in close to land his options. Which would be extra hard with Cuddles’ methods of manipulating the area to his advantage, ability to safely retreat from Numpty using his invisibility and ability to bring characters to fight for him.

So overall, Cuddles’ versatile and unpredictable arsenal would GREATLY help him against Numpty, who is going to have a much harder time fighting against all of Cuddles’ options of controlling the fight. Meaning Cuddles had the better arsenal overall.

Tertiary Factors

In terms of mental factors, I think they mostly even out. They were generally even in terms of experience from the amount of adventures they had (although most of said adventures end up in them dying). Numpty is generally smarter, while Cuddles was A-LOT more experienced and skilled in direct combat.  

However, none of that matters if they can’t take the other down for good. When talking about natural survivability, Cuddles had debatably better resilience/pain tolerance while Numpty had more instantaneous natural resurrection. However, Cuddles had multiple methods of healing himself alongside roughly 51 “Lives” he can fall back on.

Meaning, it’s going to be a pain for both of them to actually kill each other. However, Cuddles has a secret weapon that came in the form of the “Meat Boys” Perk. Which would give Cuddles the small chance to turn Numpty into a zombie ally.

Now given that this relies on a specific item that has a small chance of taking effect and Numpty only has to kill Cuddles about 51 times, one might think Numpty would have a much easier time winning… However, this is far from the case.

Numpty still has to kill Cuddles roughly 50+ times over. Which is going to be pretty hard since Cuddles is stronger and faster in most ranges alongside having methods of enhancing his stats. Plus, alongside Cuddles’ various options of area control, means of slowing down and sticking Numpty to one place, turning invisible to safely retreat from Numpty, temporarily becoming invulnerable to damage through multiple options and summoning people to fight for him. Meant it would be a PAIN for Numpty to actually kill Cuddles that many times.

On the other hand, Cuddles would have an easier time killing Numpty due to his various weaponry. Especially considering what might be his biggest weapon, the Buns. With two of those Buns making it so Numpty would spontaneously explode and die upon contact with Cuddles (which is extra bad considering Numpty would need to get in close to use options in the first place) alongside the Atomic Bun being able to just instantly blow up Numpty as long as he is in the general vicinity.

Meaning all that Cuddles has to do is use his much larger arsenal to repeatedly kill Numpty and put him on the back foot. Which means Cuddles actually had the better chances of staying alive long enough to finally land that decisive blow and incapacitate the bean-guy.

Stat-Equal Situation

As I mentioned before, their stats are rather variable. So I think it kind of makes sense to see them as roughly equal physically. But Cuddles still had a MUCH larger and more versatile arsenal that meant he could easily take his time and perform the same strategy I mentioned previously. So if their stats were equal, Cuddles pretty handily took it.

Conclusion

This matchup was a bit of a headscratcher. Mainly because it heavily depends on which ends you use for both. However, Cuddles more consistently had the better stats, had the way better arsenal and ironically was more likely to stay alive long enough to pull off his ultimately better wincons.

Maybe it’s for the best. Because after this little fiasco is over and done with. Cuddles will finally have found a new Happy Tree Friend in the most unlikely of people.

The winner is Cuddles the Rabbit

Sometimes, even in the heart of battle, you can find new friends.

Conclusion

Cuddles


“Children are not things to be moulded, but are people to be unfolded.”

Advantages:

  • Stronger with direct AP feats
  • Faster on low to mid ends
  • Has at least 50 extra lives...
  • More experienced in combat
  • Much greater and larger arsenal, with ways to instantly kill and completely incapacitate Numpty
  • Has items to buff his survivability and stall his inevitable demise
  • Meat Boys would revive Numpty as his ally, ending the fight there...
  • Cuter (because he’s a bunny)
  • Would get extra money if he wins

Disadvantages:

  • Weaker and less durable on high ends
  • Massively slower on high ends
  • Not as smart as Numpty overall
  • …Has a limited number of resurrections compared to Numpty’s infinite amount
  • …Meat Boys only has a small chance to activate on one of Numpty’s resurrections
  • Much weaker immortality, dies a lot quicker
  • NFTs

Numpty


“Thank you for helping us survive, but more importantly, for building us up so that we could thrive. It has been an honor watching you on your Beanscout journey. Remember to send us a postcard from Beanland!”

Advantages:

  • More durable in general
  • Massively faster on high ends
  • Infinite number of resurrections...
  • Slightly better abilities
  • Much greater mobility via flight and superior athleticism
  • Generally smarter
  • Greater immortality, dies a lot less easily
  • Better theme song (Even I can attest to that lol, but I’m not saying the HTF one is even bad. - AlfieMations)
  • The dance is somehow in Fortnite

Disadvantages:

  • Weaker with direct AP feats
  • Slower on low to mid ends
  • …Has no counter for getting resurrected as an ally by Meat Boys
  • Much worse and less varied arsenal
  • Has to kill Cuddles at least 50 times in order to win
  • Less experienced in combat
  • NFTs also, somehow

Final Tally

Cuddles (2) - AlfieMations, John C

Numpty (2) - Dash Fish, Moofie

For this Happy Tree End, we found some Dumb Ways to Draw.

This battle… is a tie!

Matchup Shoutouts

Dash Fish: As per usual, here are some matchups from both series that me and the researchers like. Enjoy! Or don’t. I don’t make the rules.

Happy Tree Friends Matchups

Mime VS Wes

AlfieMations: This is one of those matchups that… temporarily got me into another series, so I know at least a little bit about Don’t Starve and its weird lore.

Mime is tied for my second favourite HTF character and this dynamic just seems so amusing but dark at the same time, yeah I like it, one of the few good HTF matchups imo lol.

Lumpy VS Caboose

AlfieMations: Ah yes the esteemed goal exclusive to only me it feels like…

What is the best matchup for Lumpy?

I’m telling you my guy has basically nothing good! And that is an outrage!

I mean, you can see at the bottom of this blog that I even made a blog for him to describe all of the insane stuff he can do separate from the other HTF characters, and he has a very distinct, flexible personality… This is the best one he has. (Imo)

Which… I kinda like, I like Caboose (even if I haven’t watched RVB yet)

And the connections are decently solid for characters like these but like… how is the dynamic supposed to work? You have one guy with all of these magic artifacts and powers, vs a guy with just… a gun, and some more Halo equipment I guess?…

I’m not saying I dislike this matchup I’m using it as a way to show the best I can get for Lumpy and we need to sign a petition to find the best matchup for him lol. I actually do have an alternative in Scoutmaster Lumpy’s from Camp Lazlo as the matchup I was confident in locking in since aesthetically they both similar personality traits if you take into account every persona of Lumpy along with just being moose characters with similar names… but I honestly don’t know how much that works anymore, especially due to Lumpy not fitting Lumpus’s main themes too well.

But in a way… this matchup is honestly kinda the reason everyone is here right now! I suggested it to Dash like when we were doing Piranha Plant Vs Chomper, very nervous about the reception… but she was interested and it spiraled around projects I made showing more expansive HTF stuff we could do for a blog… and now? Well here we are!

Splendid VS Captain Hero

AlfieMations: I am not touching Drawn Together with a 50 foot pole… but I still like this matchup quite a bit. Basically dumb, overly violent and vulgar parodies of Superman (who’d both kick Homelanders ass btw) probably the second best HTF matchup to my knowledge, decent debate (Splendid winning gives me life lol), a good potential for comedic absurdity, especially in terms of the scale…

Yes I have not much else to say, it’s pretty nice.

Dash Fish: I would also never revisit Drawn Together in a hundred million centuries but there are some very silly moments that genuinely got a pretty good laugh out of me here and there, and the same goes for Happy Tree Friends. Well, not the “never revisiting” part, but yeah. This is sort of just your typical Superman Parody VS Superman Parody fight but with a lot of great comedic potential. The only one rivaling it is maybe Captain Underpants VS Wordgirl.

Nutty VS Hammy

Dash Fish: Two very hungry squirrels whose appetite usually causes crazy fucking shit to happen to them. Simple, but it works. I mean you don’t need much beyond surface-level connections to really make a HTF matchup to work, but this one surprisingly has just enough to work with for it to be fair. Over the Hedge is actually surprisingly cracked with weird hax and gadgets from the movie and games, with Hammy being somehow the strongest character in his verse, all things considered. If you include the comic strip this fight becomes pretty unfair, but sticking to the limited canon would make for a weirdly debatable powered-up food fight.

AlfieMations: (Wondering when Dash would bring the one up lol) Uh anyways Yeah most of the same things, though Nutty is my favourite Happy Tree Friends character, and having watched The Over The Hedge movie fairly recently ago it’s surprisingly better than I thought it was and I love the little squirrel voiced by Gru lol.

Interesting fact, this was initially one of the contested matchups me and Dash thought of to actually do a blog on, it was just more consideration and a greater passion from me at the time to do it with Nummles instead.

Flippy VS Naughty Bear

AlfieMations: Ooo boy… Here's where I really get to rant lol.

To put it lightly…

This is single handedly my second most wanted matchup for Death Battle of all time at the moment…

It would absolutely be my most wanted if it weren’t for the fact that I just have such a heavy childhood connection to MickeyBugs.

But this is the matchup that I talk about the most by far, and is also another matchup that got me into another series.

At the time, this was generally the most popular Flippy matchup that I saw… and I didn’t really understand it at first… but… well I can say it’s certainly not the most thematically rich matchup out there in the world obviously, but the core theme here I grew to so much and just another example of a world very similar to HTF, being another world filled with a contrastingly innocent and violent tone with cute, harmony loving animals, with both of these characters fitting similar roles in their respective universes, having an alternative voice in their head that motivates them to murder people despite usually being very chill and trying to be friendly with other characters due to past trauma that can be triggered through the other characters antics.

Obviously I know a lot of people likely aren’t familiar with Naughty Bear, but the series did have pretty decent following during its two games, albeit with pretty poor reviews and the minor hype behind the series caused Naughty to actually get into Dead by Daylight in 2023 which is pretty cool! (Also the Narrator in Naughty Bear’s head is British so you know I just gotta like him more lol).

I love this matchup to no end because unlike most HTF matchups, it actually has a bare minimum solid fight potential with the hand to hand combat, the ludicrous variety of their weapons, especially with Naughty’s supernatural workload of weapons and abilities, and it could taken in a very interesting tone depending on how it ends… I say this because I’ve had plans on writing in full on fight script for this matchup for a long time, I generally have pretty good ideas for what I can allow both to bounce off with their abilities in the fight and obviously I kinda doubt my full picture of the matchup would be possible for a normal Death Battle Episode unless like certain parts were to be removed like a sort of an opposite Director’s Cut kinda deal.

Either way I would absolutely be doing this matchup as much justice as I could. You can probably also see that I made a blog for the matchup at the end of this blog and my opinions have updated since then because that was like 2 years ago… but I still strongly stand by the outcome I had then. Though it is surprisingly close though imo.

So yeah I love this matchup, and I hope I can feel more confident in making that fact clear due to the lengthy discussion of it here lol.

Moofie: Yeah, this matchup rocks. Two mostly chill killer bears in a cartoony (although a bit dated for Naughty) world where they’re simply trying to get by then something ends up ruining that and they, well, basically flip. Even not knowing these two that much, it sticks with me still.

Dumb Ways to Die Matchups

Numpty VS Zack Kelvin

Dash Fish: Connections are that their heads are both always on fire and that’s they’re only consistent character trait. I mean Zack was technically cold for most of the series but I don’t care. Y’all remember Riddle School? That shit was peak. Jonochrome though? Not so peak.

Moofie: Yeah, they like to have their head set on fire, if you ignore Zack throughout most of the games… but besides that it’s funny.

Fall Guys VS Dumb Ways to Die

AlfieMations: These two games have a vaguely similar aesthetic between their series and focus on colourful bean shaped creatures attending fairly dangerous activities, the harm of which only deviating because of the tone of their series… I heard of it before and it’s neat lol.

Dash Fish: Surprisingly more thematic than Fall Guys VS Among Us somehow, lol. Not that I’m asking for thematics for a Fall Guys matchup of all things but– this could be fun! Fall Guys probably stomp tho, ngl.

Moofie: Partly through researching Dumb Ways to Die, I realized that I actually kinda love this idea. It’s simply colorful beans going throughout their daily activities that actively puts them in harm's way all the time. Don’t know if I enjoy this more than Among Us yet, but who's to say these two can’t coexist?

Happy Wheels VS Dumb Ways to Die

Dash Fish: Thought I had come up with this on my own, but apparently someone else had this idea before me! Anyways, this is probably my favorite for all the Beans. Connections being two casts of characters who die in silly ways, and were also very popular during the early-YouTube ages of the internet. A fight between them could be cool, and given the amounts of vehicles both the Beans and the Happy Wheels guys have it could also be somewhat of a Death Race type fight. I also think you could probably just cut this battle down to the Irresponsible Dad & Son VS Numpty & his child, but like, what the fuck can the kids do anyways lmao

Moofie: While I wouldn’t say this is one that I see for, I understand why it does. I mean they’re like constantly dying in funny ways back in the day of youtube. And you what? I fuck with that.

ASDF Movies VS Dumb Ways to Die

Moofie: This is another matchup that came during the researching process. An old internet  youtube series of continuous gags of people (mostly in ASDF’s case) being killed in humorous ways that often envolve…

(and also that you should avoid that)

It’s simply fun, as ASDF Movies was like my shit back in the day. It would be funny to see an army battle of the beans and the people of ASDF just go through random shenanigans together.

Announcements + Next Time

Dash Fish

(shoutouts to Alfie for making this lmao)

Hello again readers! Yeah, so this is a bit unexpected. This was just a bonus blog I thought would be cool to work on in between bigger projects, and it’s one that I didn’t really tell others I was doing (except for the researchers of course). But yeah, it was really cool going back to Dumb Ways to Die as a series, because I have some really fond memories with it from years past. And Happy Tree Friends is just a series pairing that makes so much sense with Dumb Ways that it was hard to back down from. Anyways, BOTA’s regularly scheduled blogging shall come back after this is released, so stay tuned! Hope you enjoyed this, and thanks for reading! (Also, I did a retrospective on all my previous blogs of the past year, so check that out if you’re curious.)

And remember: Stay safe around trains. A message from BOTA-

Scoot over a little, why don’t you?

THAT'S RIGHT! THIS IS MY BLOG HOUSE NOW MOTHERFUCKERS!

Well I’m sure none of you all were expecting this, but I knew that I (AlfieMations) personally needed to be the one to go on with this little end but we had.

Since this is sort of my passion right here I’m breaking the traditions of these blogs one could say… I’m crashing the party? (Not that kinda reference lol) unlike nobody here has ever done (I don’t think). To just say that this whole generation of us eventually leading up to doing this blog all started nearly around the time me and Dash first knew each other, in case you didn’t know or hear BOTA started to get new members around the time Piranha Plant Vs Chomper was announced with me being either the first and second ever guest to appear as a member… and only like maybe one or two blogs into doing these blogs?… I suggested a HTF themed idea to Dash out of slight anxiousness… I could not have expected where it would lead us to today lol, as we eventually leaned to this matchup due to the equal connections shared to both series after hearing about the matchup from HTF themed matchups I either found or came up with, we finally did it, and I just wanted to say I couldn’t have been more excited to work on it, especially knowing the surprise it has of coming out with basically no announcement whatsoever, so yeah… this one was very special to me, especially since I’ve definitely gotten more attached to both series through learning more about DW2D. And I could keep on going… but people are constrained by limits, long essays or spiels wanting to do something justice… but I can only hope my last words were the things that had given the final justification for the inception of this whole blog, especially considering how early its concept for it was in BOTA. So… I think I’ve served my duties here so I will take my leave, and stop abusing Dash so she can announce the next matchup lol.

Have a Happy, and hopefully Dumb day!



Sources used:

G2 DBFB - Splendid VS Captain Hero

John C - Flippy Character Blog

AlfieMations - Flippy VS Naughty Bear Blog

AlfieMations - Lumpy Character Blog

Happy Tree Friends and Dumb Ways to Die Wikis

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